Ruby (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
peaceonearth) wrote2021-07-02 01:29 pm
peaceonearth) wrote2021-07-02 01:29 pm
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It's been going on for a while: the texting, the phone calls, and the secret meet-ups. There was a space of time when Dean was in Hell that nothing was hidden and there hadn't been many texts or phone calls because she'd been there by Sam's side. Things had bounced back to 'normal' once Dean had come back and Ruby was glad Dan had come back; she isn't sure Sam would have recovered from losing Dean. Co-dependent didn't begin to explain the Winchesters.
Dean had shown up and Ruby had slipped out the bathroom window. Since then she's seen Sam plenty. In secret and the texting has resumed. She's hunting a little closer to the Winchesters and providing information without Dean (as far as she knows) knowing. She doesn't pressure Sam to tell Dean because she gets it. She's a demon and sure, she's not like other demons, but she's still a demon. She doesn't like being Sam's dirty little secret, but she doesn't like the alternative either.
Besides, she's had worse significant others.
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The last straw came when he had to hang up the call on her. No one was benefiting from the lie here. Of course Dean had asked who it was and Sam opens his mouth to excuse it with the wrong number or another lie, but he clears he closes it just as soon, knowing inside himself he has to just be open about it if they have any chance of being in the open. "Actually, that was the source I've been telling you about. I should be honest with you, Dean. That was Ruby."
He expects Dean will be angry and uses the opportunity to get out a few more words before his brother explodes. Or something along those lines.
"We've been working together for a while. While you were gone. Finding a way to open a gate of hell, close it again." Part of him wants to add it's more than just that. They're... Honestly, he is not sure what they are. But Sam suspects Dean has a vague idea already. Plus eventually it's where the conversion will go. For now, it's safer with one revelation at a time.
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So Dean went to cool off at the bar. Sam tries to get through but leaves Ruby a message when she doesn't pick up. All he asks is if she's still around and will meet up with him. He drops the name of the motel, the room number and how long he thinks he will be in town. She can slip in when she wants. Sam was as good as on his own for the next few hours at least.
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"The demon. The one that fed us a line right up until she let Lilith take control and drag me to Hell? That's who you've been working with?" It's safe to say Dean doesn't know the whole story behind what happened that day. "That's who you're believing? I'm guessing she didn't work terribly hard at the whole problem with me in Hell." In Dean's mind, that explains at least why Sam didn't drag him out of Hell and Castiel did. "And here I thought you were seeing some chick behind my back." Well....sort of?
After the conversation with Sam, Dean had needed a drink or two to calm down. He'd needed the time to think about what Sam had said. He's been known to react (dramatically) at first so this is a chance to cool off and think about how he wants to handle things.
Ruby isn't far when Sam texts. He'd hung up on her and she'd started looking for something to kill. she hadn't yet found anything when she gets the text from Sam. She spends a few minutes being hurt and angry then sighs and turns her car around to head to Sam's hotel room. She knocks on the door then waits for Sam to answer. When he does, he'll find her pouting and a little sullen.
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Sam told himself it would be temporary when Dean got back. He told himself he would let Dean get settled before he told his brother about the arrangement and relationship he had with Ruby. Suffice to say the months rolled by before he even knew it. Firstly, it was hard to say anything. Second neither Ruby nor he broke contact anyway. That's on him.
There's some silence between Dean airing out his thoughts and anger and Sam working out the best way to answer. "Yes... And no. You're missing a big piece of the story. Ruby was the same demon we left behind in the demon trap." He swallows because that remains something he regrets. "Lilith took her over without her permission. She's been on our side since I met her. I don't know what else to say. When-- It was just me. Things didn't add up so I did a little digging and brought her back to get the true story out of her." Castiel only had been the answer to save Dean that Sam couldn't find. "Sort of. Yes. I agreed to work together for common interests." AKA getting Dean back, getting Hell off their backs.
The conversation had gotten heated. Time for both of them would do some good. Of course pacing the room by himself wasn't doing any real good. He needed to talk to Ruby, see her. He half expects her to pop in as she usually does so he was seated on the bed when she knocked. He opens the door wide to let her in before nudging it closed with the flick of his wrist. The first thing out of his mouth is to apologize again for dropping her call. There's a lot of things he could admit he wished he had done better. She is pouting and the only thing to do is wait for her to let him know how badly he screwed up.
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Dean's eyes are narrowed as he listens to Sam. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "What common interests?" He's not going to beat Sam over the head about trusting a demon because Sam should know all of that already and he has a feeling he might as well beat his own head against a wall. "You've been seeing her all this time?" He pauses and looks horrified for a second. "Jesus Christ on a stick. You're sleeping with her." It's a statement, not a question.
Popping in didn't seem like the right move. She's not entirely sure where they stand right now. She steps over the threshold of the room, watching him as she does for any clue about what's going on here. The pout is still fixed on her lips. "Big brother go off looking to knife me?"
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Surely Ruby will understand why he told Dean for those reasons.
Sam is aware of everything he was taught about demons being responsible for their mom. Blaming Ruby, or rather blind hate, wasn't going to accomplish anything. "Helping me get you back, close the gates of Hell." Which...isn't as rehearsed as it sounds. He is not clear what all is going on in Dean's head but he knows his next words need to count. "I'm telling you that's how it worked out. Yes." There's a flash of sorrow when Dean pieces it together. His brother is by no means stupid but he had hoped he could have eased into that part later. "Dean, you have to understand. It, just. I don't know what to say to you, man."
They stand in the same place as before if she's not upset with him. He didn't call her to end things. Nothing has changed. He steps back as she steps into the room, hangs his head for a moment before looking her in the eyes. He spends a second watching her pout, she's upset so maybe they need to take two steps back to resolve it. "No. He's at the bar. I thought we should talk before he gets back. Face to face."
The door shuts behind her. He half expects her to pinpoint his bed and sit there, though the important thing is that she's listening.
"Guess I should start. I apologize for hanging up on you. I thought you should know I won't expect us to keep our secret anymore."
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Dean listens for a moment. He turns over Sam's answers in his head. He tries to avoid blurting out the first accusations that come to his mind. It takes some pretty serious self-control. He wants to ask Sam exactly how far they got toward their goals, but at this point, it doesn't matter. Cas is the one that brought Dean back and if there were a way to close the gates of Hell, he figures that an angel would know. Dean, instead, chooses to address the current situation. He shakes his head, disappointment on his face. "And it never occurred to you that she's taking advantage of you?"
Yes, Ruby is peeved at him. They've had to do a lot of sneaking around and that hasn't really bothered her, but she doesn't like to be ignored. It gives her a little flutter of fear in the pit of her stomach because if he can ignore her once, he can ignore her again; it's one step closer to forgetting about her or further reducing her place in life. "So...here's my face." It's a little bit of a challenge; make things right, Sam.
She's listening.
With those last words, everything changes. There's a half-second where there's sheer terror on her face before she tilts her chin up and it becomes defiance. For the first time in a very long time, Ruby has something she's afraid to lose. "I bet that went over well."
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How far they had got towards their goal would just be another confession that Sam isn't certain how to share now anyway. Ruby had eventually convinced him their best chance was to learn to control his powers. They worked on it for weeks before something else came of it. Even still, it is still a sore point that Dean manages to hit. "No. I mean, of course I did initially. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn't see how she would be taking advantage of me. There would have to be an angle." He trusts her because he never could see one.
It might take some time to make amends, but he won't ignore her again. She won't need to get him to promise because he will find a way to tell her when she needs to hear it most. It comes with little surprise that she is irritable. Rather than call her out on it, he moves over to the table to pull out a seat for her. "Sit or stand?" Her choice. Eventually, he moves to his own seat positioned in the way best to look at her straight. The thing she can't seem to understand just yet is that he can't ignore her. His brain muscles spasm trying to contemplate a version of reality where he hadn't started things with her. "I'm glad you did show," he offers her.
There might have been an argument between Dean and him. There might have not been much of a conversation at all. Nothing Sam intends to tell Ruby here will make her fear losing him. The second her expression shifts from terror to defiance brings him to reach out with his hand to her shoulder. "Not really, no. The point is we can move on from here. I wanted to tell you that first. And that I'm sorry. I should have just been up front about us from the get go."
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Dean runs a hand back through his hair as he lets out a heavy sigh. He regards Sam with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, I'll be sure to point out the angle as soon as I get a handle on it." He's not letting this go for the moment. He's just accepting a truce. "Be careful, Sam. I don't like it and I don't understand what a demon wants with...dating." Is that what they're doing? Dating? That's what he's hearing anyway. If it weren't Sam. he'd assume these were booty calls and he's kind of thinking that maybe that's what Ruby is getting out of this.
She doesn't answer right away, or at all vocally. She stands with her arms crossed. No, she doesn't understand or grasp that not seeing her is something Sam can't contemplate. Ruby hasn't ever been necessary to someone, not like that. To be honest, she's expected him to ditch her since Dean got back and she's always pleasantly surprised when he calls her or texts her. Once he says she's glad she did show, she sits down in the chair across from him. She leans her elbows on the table. "You're lucky you're tall. And hot," she responds.
She's quiet a moment, turning over in her head what 'moving on' might mean to Sam. She's not sure what it means to her in this context. "He probably would have talked you out of seeing me if he'd known from the beginning." She's not sure that he won't eventually anyway.
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He understands Dean isn't letting it go. But the truce, even for the time being, is appreciated. Sam meets Dean's narrow eyes with a measured one of his own. He's thought about it from every angle and none ever lined up is what his eyes share. His head gives a little shake to emphasize it more along with his body language. "I believed her when she said she wanted things to remain the way they are on Earth and not end up another level of Hell. There's a part of her that wants to be normal," he answers, paraphrasing Ruby's own words from the first time he sat down with her. Surely they've passed that point where a booty call would be possible, or so Sam thinks. He looks at Dean directly. "If you promise not to shoot first and ask questions later, I'll see if she will agree to talking about it. Everything." Would that help even a little? The conversation might get Dean to understand how the dating came about when it started with Sam asking Ruby for help.
He refrains from taking a deep breath with her body language being so distant, but eventually lets himself breathe out in relief when she sits. She must at least be aware that he never entered this relationship easily. There is some way to go if she doesn't understand how much of a fixture she is. Does she even want to be? There's always a small bit of doubt that nags him from his end as well. Her words remind him of the time she first said them and genuinely he can't help the small twitch at the corner of his lip when she says it. "It still shouldn't have been my call in keeping you- Us. Keeping us a secret. You should have input too."
Of course Dean tried to reason with Sam. The point is not what Dean had to say, but what Sam should have done from the get go despite the repercussions. "Dean has some reservations. But it's not up to him."
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As long as Sam realizes they'll revisit this, probably more than once. Really, he wants to gather some of his own intel and see what Ruby has been up to that wasn't Sam. Dean gives him a skeptical look when he says there's a part of Ruby that wants to be normal. He remembers the conversation he had with the demon about her remembering what it was like to be human. It fits with that. "So...what? All the demons we've been killing have some part of them that wants to be normal? They're going to have fancy coffee before going on a killing spree?" There's some actual concern in Dean's voice. He remembers Lenore, the vampire. He scrubs a hand over his head and down his face. "I won't shoot. I'll even leave the Colt in the Impala." It's the best offer he can make. "Not now though. I need to think. About everything." And put some feelers out about Ruby.
Oh, she knows. To be honest, it surprised her that he did at all. She'd always found Sam attractive and had had a soft spot for him, but she hadn't set out to have a relationship with him, not like this one that they're building. She definitely wants to be a fixture in his life; she just doesn't have any faith that he won't want to move onto a normal, human girl at some point. It has nothing to do with Sam and everything to do with the way she feels about demons and witches (IE herself). It's something they definitely need to address. She's glad to see that little twitch of a smile; she'd deliberately echoed those words from when they'd first met. She ducks her head, hiding the smile that tugs at the corners of her lips. They're an 'us' as far as Sam is concerned. She looks up to him after a moment and nods. "Yeah, even if I wouldn't have made a different decision, you're right. It should have been." She hesitates and shakes her head a little. "I'm shit at this, Sam. The whole...dating...thing." The look on her face and the way she phrases 'dating' clearly says she's not sure if that's what they're even doing or not.
She raises an eyebrow at Sam, not questioning him so much as wanting him to really consider his words. "Even if he hates it and wishes I'd go back to Hell?"
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Fair enough. He won't introduce her to anyone that he doesn't think can eventually come on board with her.
Sam expects nothing less of Dean to revisit it and mention his concerns or suspicions until his brother does more research. The only thing he hopes Dean can respect is a degree of Ruby and their combined privacies. "I didn't say all of them," he corrects. "But it is not hard to believe some of them have different ideas after... after working with Ruby for the last month." The part about coffee is ridiculous enough but also a fair assessment that Sam has no answer for it. The best he can do is try to address the concern in Dean's voice by keeping his level, without revealing the doubt he has for other demons being as simple as Ruby. "Take your time. I doubt it would do any good to set up a conversation with all three of us face to face so soon. You want another beer?"
There's a brief pause before he adds, "I can take my food to go."
He may not be ready to admit to himself that the picture of a normal life with a normal girlfriend isn't something he wouldn't want in some form. He can, however, see that things are exactly how he would want them to be if they work out with Ruby too. He's unlearning how to feel that all demons are bad everyday for the two of them. A few strands of her hair have a way of falling in front of her face when she ducks her head and it draws him to tilt his head in such a way that allows him to catch a glimpse of her smile. It confirms that she heard him. There's a 'them' if she allows herself to be part of the group (and if Dean allows it). He bites his lip and nods to agree with her. "My record isn't shining either. But we can work to fix that, can't we? We can bring..." He stops there; the word 'dating' hits him and it no longer feels appropriate to bring Dean into the discussion. She wants an answer, clearly. Deserves one even. The thing is neither of them have it defined very well in their minds. "I would certainly hope what we have can be called dating, or eventually get there."
It's certainly a possibility that Dean might try to send her to Hell but Sam has it on good authority Dean won't try anything in the next twelve hours. He's sticking close to Ruby. "Can we try to stay away from the self fulfilling prophecy? You're a better person than that."
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Dean will respect the fact that Sam cares about Ruby and he won't do anything to hurt her. He'll attempt to get to know her and form an opinion about her based on his actual experience with her instead of his general experience with demons. That's all he can promise right now. "Okay," he says after a moment. "I'll listen to her when we do sit down to talk. Preferably with whiskey." Dean sighs a little and shakes his head. "No. You stay. I'm going to...go for a drive. I'll be back later though."
He really does need the air and the space. The motel room feels small and close. He snatches his keys up from the nightstand and heads out of the room. Within a few seconds, the Impala starts up and 70's rock pumps out.
There aren't a lot of stories about humans and demons so it hasn't really even occurred to Ruby that a life of any sort is possible for her and Sam. She's been taking it day by day. It's just now occurring to her that more might be possible. If her heart still beat, it would be racing in her chest. "We can bring what?" she asks, curious how he was going to end that sentence. As for the dating, "Yes. Dating I mean. I'd like to try it. I just--I don't know what that means or how to do it. I'm 3,000 years old, but I was sixteen when I died, and...I've never dated." She does not call her relationship with Astaroth dating.
Ruby will feel better with Sam close. She'll feel better about Dean, about their future, about everything. She smirks a little. "Deal." She hesitates and her smirk turns into a soft smile. "I like that you think so."
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Fortunately, the most pressing thing is talking to Dean together at some point. Time was something they had before they started bringing other hunters into the know. A relaxed Ruby is his top priority right now.
It will take some time before Sam can trust that he won't try anything... but he can see Dean means it when promises to form an opinion based on his experience only. Ruby and Dean have already gotten to a rough start though so don't blame him for the little bit of hesitancy before he nods. "When does it work for you?" Sam knows he shouldn't press but the sooner they do, the better. If Dean wants to clear his head, he won't stop him. The room is actually the most private spot he could call Ruby to.
It's exactly what he does when Dean leaves. There's a little time between then and now before he makes that call. He uses the small window to clear his own thoughts by washing his face and making himself appear generally more tidy.
Sadly, none that can be verified anyway. Sam had looked into those sort of stories a while back and none really jumped out at him. However, he truly believes nothing is impossible if you search for a way long enough. More seems possible to him too. His heart aches for having put her through this. "When it comes down to it, there's no one way to date. How we do it is to spend time together when we can." He answers the more pressing question first about them dating. His head shakes at her age, history, all of it. "None of the rest matters."
His gaze falls a little but eyes smile under her smirk. Right now, Sam has no intention of separating from her side. "I know you don't need to hear it from me. You know it just as well as I do." That he certainly has faith, but the underlying flirtation earns her the warmest of smiles in return.
As for what he was going to say, his eyes half tell the story when they sway to the empty bed claimed by his brother and back to firmly hold Ruby's again. "We can get Dean back here and talk in the morning."
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She's been through far worse, which doesn't make it okay, of course, but it means that she doesn't think much of it. "So pretty much like we have been, but with Dean knowing." She figures it's best to be upfront about it, especially when she is on such unfamiliar ground. Not only has she not dated, but she hasn't had to play nice with anyone's family ever.
"Knowledge is part of this whole being awesome package," she says with a false bravado she doesn't feel. The truth is that she does need Sam to reassure her that she's better than her nature. Flirtation is also how she deals with some of her issues when it comes to Sam. Of course, it's also that she just likes flirting with him.
She lets her fingers creep across the table to his. "Is that an invitation to stay the night?"
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It's not Ruby's fault at all-- Sam will make it clear that he needed time to tell and it wasn't the best time when Dean seemed somehow off after his stint in Hell. It will all come up when they do talk. Sam notices Dean's telltale sign that he is not ready to talk, but maintains his pointed look that they need to. "I'll order extra to the room when I get up. I doubt Ruby's anywhere close to here right now in case you get any funny ideas." He lets Dean turn to the door so he, too, might relax before the next twelve hours are gone. There is a conversation to be had and it won't be won by calling Dean out for almost calling Ruby a bitch. Sam sighs once alone in the room.
It would mean a lot if Ruby played nice with Dean. The same goes for Dean. But that is neither here nor now. "Exactly like that, no more texting and meeting in secret." Ruby's learning and Sam hopes to be up front with her too. They have a lot to unpack with Dean and whether this is them dating or hooking up occasionally. The line has been so blurred since they started this, he can't begin to know which way they fall. But Dean called Ruby his (Sam's) girlfriend before and that does seem to fit better.
Part of Ruby's charm is her bravado because a regular person wouldn't be able to fake that. Sam sees through it to a degree, but it seems she needs him to say more to which he can oblige. "Well.. you're pretty awesome. I admit I was wrong with the way I handled this from the start." Flirting is also very Ruby, and it's distracting to say the least.
Her fingers slide right across his palm and the tips of his fingers brush across her wrist then give her hand a squeeze. "I don't see why not. We would be a united front, if you did." That would be a yes despite the risk of Dean coming back to see them together before his brother was entirely cooled off.
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Ruby will try and if Dean ever comes to terms with their dating, Dean will try as well. They'll probably always have their moments, but they won't actively try to kill each other. That's something, right? "I've gotten used to the texting," she says with the slightest bit of a pout. "But I won't miss hiding." It will take Ruby a while to put the word girlfriend or boyfriend to their relationship simply because she's never had or been either. There weren't such roles when she was human. She won't mind having Sam use the terms though. They'll have to figure out for themselves what they are and what they want to be.
Bravado was her only means of survival sometimes. It's a defensive mechanism that she doesn't even realize she's using anymore. She lifts one shoulder in a sort of shrug, head tilting a little. "As pointed out, there's not really a how-to guide for us." The whole human-demon-boy kind thing she means. Distraction seems to be something they're not very good at avoiding.
She shivers ever so slightly when Sam's fingers brush her wrist. "Do you feel better about...this," her eyes flicker to his fingers on her wrist then back up to his eyes, "now that he knows?"
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A lot of it had to do with Sam being ready to tell Dean up front too. Ruby isn't wrong. Sam's biggest fear is that this still can blow up in his face and Dean will make him choose. "I'm just saying." He shrugs, head half turned but believing Dean meant it more this time.
Sam will set some ground rules when they get to their conversation. Being civil, at least, is expected. No weapons at the table either. Not killing each other is generally the main rule, yes. "Okay, not all the texting." His smile grows a little more, exhaling. "No more hiding from Dean." They might want to be selective with other people they tell, though. Their relationship is seemingly more complicated than even work friends to lovers. Sam isn't ready to define her as his girlfriend just yet but Ruby isn't a booty call. There's a history and attraction between them. Something will come along that will best define them eventually.
Ruby wouldn't be Ruby without her defence mechanism. Sam's eyes follow her head tilt as if she's pointing off to something, but mostly drawn to paying her closer attention. "No, I agree. I have no idea what I'm doing or how this is going to go from here on out. But I think... I think this is the beginning of whatever this is." The question is do either have a chance with avoiding distractions.
"Us?" He asks to clarify, but has it on good authority to guess she does mean them. His attention lingers on her hand as his fingers move to fold in between her fingers. "I feel like I made a big mess, but once we talk to him, it will be behind us. It can only get better from there. I feel we should go on a real date when that happens."