She'd gotten the call in the middle of the night. It was one she'd anticipated for weeks months, years, but couldn't plan for. Now she's headed to a bus station in the middle of Sioux Falls and she hasn't been this nervous in over a century. She didn't want to keep him waiting at the bus station in the middle of the night even if the most dangerous thing in Sioux Falls he's likely to encounter is Bert, the incredibly friendly, homeless drunk that Ruby occasionally slips a mini bottle of whiskey and a coffee in exchange for keeping his eye out for anything weird in town. If she'd had time, she would have dressed up a little, but as it is, she'd thrown on jeans with her oversized (Sam's) tee shirt and her heeled boots. On the way over she'd added some of the red lipstick that Sam had always liked and an extra spritz of the lavender-cedar perfume she makes and wears. She parked the car outside the bus station and waited a moment before getting out to go inside, realizing that with everything going on, Sam might not feel comfortable getting in a car with her right away. She doesn't say anything as she walks inside, but stops several feet away from him, watching him. She saw him a few months ago so in reality, he hasn't changed that much. He's tall (but not yet as tall as he probably will get) and lanky, all limbs and floppy hair. Her heart aches just looking at him, but she stands back, giving him a chance to decide how he wants to handle this. From this moment on, Sam is directing the show.
In reality, the memories had started sneaking into his dreams months ago. Often there was friction in these dreams or conversation that would lead to a steamier scene where he dreamt he was well-toned and Ruby was receptive to the mood. Time moved on and those dreams moved on to feelings of Deja vu during his waking hours at home or the mall (really anywhere.) That was all until yesterday. The flashes came all at once, an overwhelming wave, and he knew then he had to go somewhere safe. Home. The original one. Ruby was the only thing that made remote sense among most of his memories and the faces that appeared. Essentially, she was the only one that didn't overlap. His trip on the bus had been mostly a blur; the occasional person asked if he was okay and he said he was fine but, in all honesty, he was lost. The bus station was about as far as he could go as his visions stopped matching his surroundings when he got off. His gut felt things had changed so much since he last saw them, but he couldn't understand why he felt that way. Calling Ruby was the only option left.
What time is it?
Will she come?
He had as many questions as the doubts that filled his head while he waited for her to show. He will have to make a formal apology to Bert for trying to throw kindness his way later because when the man started talking to him, he was skittish and turned the other way. It just so happens he spies Ruby headed in his direction when he does. She hasn't changed much either but that's to be expected. He catches himself thinking that she looks good in what she has on, but shakes his head out of it. He knows he's better than those thoughts. In his gut, he knows she's still married even though she's a widow; he can't explain why though. He stops just in front of her. "Um, you came." He swallows, ready for a gentle admonishment or anything of the sort. He sort of anticipates that he is in trouble without any other idea of what she might say. "I didn't bring anything else, just me- and this." He holds the journal of John Winchester in hand-- his prize possession. "So I don't have to wait for bags to be unloaded."
Is she...?
He can't let himself complete that thought or have it slip out. He just knows he can't blow it by getting sent away and not be close to her first.
She’ll take of Bert later. That’s assuming the old man even remembers the
incident. She’ll also properly introduce them once Sam is acclimated a
little. She smiles very softly at his comment. “Of course, I did. I’m
always here if you need me, Sam.” The last thing he’s going to get is an
admonishment from her right now. When he says he didn’t bring anything
else she holds her hand out to him.
“That’s all you need.”
She hesitates a moment longer. “Is it okay to go back to the house
or…there’s an all night diner that does good pancakes. There won’t me many
people there this time of night, but there’ll be a few.”
You know, in case he’s not quite ready to be alone with her.
He will definitely want a proper introduction to Bert to make it up to him. He left home with no word which is why her soft smile surprises him a little more than it should. He'll have to call his parents later to let them know he is safe. His head can't quite wrap around how nice she is being. "I don't know how, but somehow I know are. But why? Why do I keep seeing you? It started a few months ago.. It was dreams at first but now it's when I'm awake. It makes no sense..." Sam was always honest and a bit of rambler.
He tries not to look too vulnerable standing in front of her, but her assurance grants him some comfort.
His stomach decides for the both of them with a rumble when he can't decide either. "The diner? I think I should it something." Which gives him little choice, unless she has food at home. They both know that's unlikely. It has nothing to do with his comfort in being alone with her, yet. He fishes into his pockets and pulls out what little he has to count.
"I think I can afford something small and we can go back to the house. When we talk, there shouldn't be anybody around."
Part of it is him, part of him remembers that Ruby isn't the type to do public. There are so many questions swimming in that noggin of his that he wouldn't want them in earshot.
There are several people in town that Ruby is relatively friendly with he'll meet once he's acclimated. She'll also make sure he calls is parents in the morning when it's a more decent hour, though she's spoken to them a little about this upcoming moment in the past few months so they probably won't be surprised. Everyone knows what they signed up for, even Sam, though he doesn't remember that right now. She doesn't want to overwhelm him and she feels like saying I'm your wife would probably overwhelm him. "I've been in your life a very long time, Sam. Longer than you remember." She doesn't mean to be cryptic, but she knows that's how it sounds.
He looks very vulnerable and she wants to wrap her arms around him, but this isn't the time and she's not entirely sure that it wouldn't scare him away. Honestly, she's a little surprised and a lot relieved when he puts his hand in hers. His hand is already so much larger than hers, but she twines her fingers with his, hoping that this is some comfort.
His grumbling stomach makes her smirk a bit and nod. "The diner it is and it's my treat. Get whatever you want and we'll head back to the house when you're ready."
No, she's a bit of an introvert in general. He remembers that correctly. He's probably right about people not being within earshot. The questions and answers are likely to make them sound crazy to anyone who overhears.
The SUV is right outside. It's the same one he's seen for years now at his basketball games and occasionally parked outside his house. She gets into the driver's side and sets a route for the diner. It's not a very long trip, but then the trip to anywhere in Sioux Falls isn't.
He doesn't know this yet either but she always looks out for him in the best way possible, and some day along the line, he will thank her. It would take very little to overwhelm him after the long bus ride with questions filling his head. It's good that she leaves that part about being his wife out. "Yeah, since I was born," he finishes what he assumes she means by that. It all sounds very cryptic but his head feels bogged down by other conflicting questions and theories. "But what does that have to do with it? Am I a witch? Do I remember everything that happened in the womb?" Sorry if where he is going with this is that he is seeing the day he was conceived and Ruby is his birth mother while his father cheated with her. Sam doesn't want to leap that far without more information but his imagination has the better of him too.
Ruby could never scare him away but it would set things back to be hugged by her in his confused state. Most likely he would be stuck hugging her there for a while as a result. Yes, he trusts her enough to take her hand when she offers it to him, taking some sense of belonging out of it. He stopped feeling lost at that moment too. Looking down at her hand in his, he can't believe how much smaller her hand seems to be. In truth he never stopped growing since the last time they saw each other.
He frowns a little at his stomach and opens his mouth to decline her offer but can't quite bring himself to do so. "Wait... You sure? It's not like I can't buy something by myself." He has very little idea how if would put her out or not and it's not his intention either way. She makes some valid points down the line just by being Ruby and one to insist kindly so when they get to the restaurant he orders the pancakes and a side of soup to go.
It's exactly what he is afraid of too. If he thinks his questions sound crazy, other people will as well. What worries him most is if Ruby will treat it like he's lost it. The last thing he wants is her to look at him like he should be locked up.
The SUV is one he would recognize anywhere. The stickers he placed on the license plate as a child are still on it and the toy soldier he gave her on a shoestring to hang on the mirror as well. He makes himself comfortable in the passenger seat for the duration. Eventually, they turn down a private driveway that leads up to a house. Nothing seems unusual about it at first but then a flash of deja vu washes over him and he rocks forward in his seat and pinches his nose with a grunt. Just like right now he saw himself in the passenger's seat coming up to the house with Ruby driving but it was daylight and the house was badly in need of TLC.
She tries to look out for him in any case. She doesn't need any thanks, but she is glad that he recognizes it and appreciates it. She's trying very hard not to overwhelm him simply because she knows everything about this must be overwhelming right now and there's no way to ease him into it. She nods at his since I was born comment because while it's accurate; she was there when he was born, it's not the whole story. He has to be ready to ask the questions so that she can tell him the whole story. She's not sure if he's there yet. "You aren't a witch and I doubt you remember anything in the womb because you're human and they don't usually." She definitely did not sleep with his dad (she'll leave out that his dad hit on her. He doesn't need to know that).
She remembers a time when his hand was the smaller one and those are memories she cherishes, but that's neither here nor there. She's pretty sure he's always felt a certain sense of belonging when holding her hand, even when he was a little kid. As a baby, he never failed to stop crying the minute she held him.
She assures him that it's not going to put her out to buy him food. She makes her points and she's relieved that he lets her pay for the food. She'll have to stock the house with groceries the first chance she gets. She's relieved when he orders everything to go. It tells her that whatever he's seeing in his head, it's not making him afraid to be alone with her.
No matter what he asks (even if it involves her being his birth mom) she won't think he's crazy. Confused about what he's remembering, yes, but not crazy. He doesn't have to worry about any judgment from her ever, but especially now.
The stickers and the army man are two of her favorite things about the vehicle. They've spent a lot of time in that SUV talking. It's not a long drive, but when Sam reacts to the sight of the house, Ruby reaches over to put her hand on his back to ground him in the moment as much as anything. "Just breathe through it, Sam." She's only got a vague idea of what's happening, but her advice is good for so many different scenarios.
Once the moment has passed, she leads the way inside, unlocking the door, taking care to leave it unlocked behind them. The house is in the middle of nowhere and it's safe enough to leave unlocked for the moment. "You can eat in the living room or the kitchen. I'm going to make some tea and have a glass of wine. Do you want anything?"
For now it does more good to have her confirmation knowing him since birth
is all. There is a long list of questions before he gets remotely close to
ready for her to tell the story from the beginning. He sighs in relief to
hear that he isn't a witch as that would change a lot about how he viewed
his life. Finally, he can let go of that nagging feeling his parents might
have lied to him. Yes, Ruby he will believe without the smallest of doubts.
"I don't know what's happening to me then. I'm seeing people and events
I've never experienced before. If I'm not a witch, another possibility is
that I got cursed or... or, or I'm connected to somebody else. I keep
seeing you most of all." He turns a little red at the end there, but if
there's anyone that can help him solve his dilemma, it would be her.
He doesn't remember that far back but he used to cry when she would have to
go or it was bedtime. When he was smaller, separation from her was the
worst thing he could imagine. That said, half his attention falls down to
the hand that held hers throughout the drive. It felt nice to have her hand
in his a second ago.
Her strongest point was how he was now her guest and he could expect to be
treated as much. Or maybe it was just that he could decline only so many
times before it was considered rude. His parents raised him to be polite.
Of course he will thank her for going out of her way to prepare food. It
goes without saying that her anticipating all his favorites will make him
rather speechless. Imagining himself having sex with her as a well toned
man isn't something to be afraid of per se, but at the same time, he isn't
volunteering that information.
What would she think of me? How would she think of me if she knew? He
questions himself. The Ruby he knows is a widower who may or may not have
the occasional hook up. None of it really seems like his place to ask.
There's still some disconnect with the memories seeming like someone else's.
He was so set in decorating her car when he was small to impress her. They
had driven back from basketball practice back to his house in more recent
memory in that SUV. It holds fond memories of the two of them laughing or
talking about a shared interest. His sharp intakes of air continue until
the images of the house slow right down to one particular clear memory-- it
looked like the day when two of them, one of them being Ruby, were moving
in. The man that lent his perspective to Sam carried her over the threshold
before the image vanished and he found himself gripping his knees with a
fair amount of pressure. He could just barely register what Ruby said to
him but her hand on his back helped him find his way back to reality. He
couldn't even begin to tell her what just happened even if he tried.
He hesitates for a moment to follow behind her but steps out of the car
because it seems like she wants him to. He pays particular attention to her
leaving the door unlocked behind them, thinking there must be more meaning
behind it. No, he doesn't think she's dangerous. "Tea would be good, thank
you." The kitchen seems more appropriate to follow her even if he rather
sit and relax on a couch. He begins to spread out his take out until she
joins him with her wine. "About why I'm here. The truth is. I think there's
something wrong with me and you're the only one that links it all together.
Can you help me?"
She can't help but smile when he says she's featured most in the things he's seeing. She notices the blush but doesn't comment on it. There's no reason to. She has an idea of what he's seeing, or at least hopes she does (does that make her a bad person?). "Who are the other people you're seeing? Can you describe them to me?" She's hoping by asking these questions, she'll help him realize that the things he's seeing are memories.
She was told a few stories at the time. Unfortunately, particularly when he was that young, she tried very hard to respect the short time his parents had with him before he became hers. They'd wanted a child very badly and this had been the only way they could have one.
Ruby suspects that he may be seeing some sort of memory like that and she wouldn't think anything about him except that he's a very normal eighteen-year-old despite the fact that he's anything but normal. He's got every right to ask those questions, though he doesn't realize it yet. She didn't have the occasional hook-up. It had seemed pointless and a lot like cheating once he'd been born again. Prior to his reincarnation, she had considered it, but then he'd slipped up and she hadn't wanted to hurt him the way he'd hurt her.
Fair enough. They'd been warned it might not be seamless or smooth and they'd both accepted that. However these memories go and this situation resolves, they'd both agreed that it would be worth it to have a chance at another life together.
She remembers that day so clearly and so fondly. The decision to move into Bobby's former house hadn't been an easy one, but the bunker had quickly become hunter central and neither of them had wanted to be in the thick of it. They'd wanted a life separate from hunting, but not exclude it. Bobby's house had given them the chance to help with the hunter network, to help the hunters and not have that be their whole lives.
The hesitation worries her a little, but ultimately she knows that all of this has to happen on Sam's schedule so she doesn't try to hurry him along, but is glad when he follows her into the house. She puts the kettle on to boil and opens an old red wine then pours herself a glass before she sits opposite him at the table. It's a different table than the one they'd sat at a century ago, but it still feels the same. "First of all, there's nothing wrong with you, Sam, but I'll do everything I can to help you figure this out. What other sorts of ideas do you have about what is going on?" She hopes it sounds like she's helping him field theories. In a way she is, but she's also nudging him along to come to the right conclusion himself.
It doesn't make her a bad person to hope that his memories of her are coming back. He finds the smile oddly more confusing and assuring that she was the right person to come to. "Tall, dresses like someone from one-hundred years ago with an attitude problem." He thinks back more to the details he can remember but a lot about the man he saw is fuzzy. "There was another one; shorter and I think he wore a burlap jacket. Neither of them were talking about anything important but it was like they were talking to me." It will click that these are his memories sooner or later.
That is the contract they all agreed to. Sam still grew up with a connection to Ruby but his childhood was filled with happy moments exclusive to his parents in this life. Depending on how one looked at it, it was fortunate that this was now over and the clock was ticking in Ruby's favor. However, Sam would still be part of the Smith (former alternate universe-rich Winchester bloodline) for the rest of his life.
Reincarnation had just been the first step to putting himself in a position to make amends for that. The memories are sure to pick up with increasing frequency from here on.
It was not easy to decide to take more of a supportive role and move away from a primary role in hunting. Moving into Bobby's house was no mistake though. Sam now may not be able to piece together the reason he feels this way from the vision but the emotion is very clear. Life had more to offer to the pair when they moved in.
It might help him piece things together faster if he slept first, but he feels a sense of responsibility in staying up as long as possible to work this out with her. Ruby's offer does sound like she is active in helping him. He has no reason to doubt her. First, hearing it straight from her mouth makes him nod and believe again there is nothing wrong with him. Second, it's right on the tip of his tongue when she asks him about his other theories.
"There's one theory that won't go away," he admits. "You. You could be -- but I don't know if I can believe it -- is that you're my birth mom. Were you human before too?"
Ruby considers his description of himself and Dean in the memory then nods. "Maybe they are people from a hundred years ago? If they're not people you know or you've seen in pictures or movies then there's got to be another explanation for why you're seeing them." She doesn't offer another explanation though. She just lets him ruminate on her words.
As he should be. Ruby wouldn't have it any other way. She'll forever be grateful to the Smith family for giving Sam a good childhood and a second life.
Their life together in Bobby's house had been a good life and it's been home to Ruby for much longer, but her real home is Sam. It's the only home she's ever felt in her bones and her soul.
Once he's finished eating, Ruby will suggest he get some sleep. She'd intended to offer him the guest room, but now thinks it might help him to sleep in their room. She'd take the couch for what little dozing she did, but she's already planning on having a productive night that includes grocery shopping. Sioux Falls may not be large, but they do have a twenty-four-hour grocery store.
His theory takes her by surprise and that's probably evident on her face. She hesitates then smiles softly at him. "Sam, I promise I am not your birth mother. I was in the room when you were born along with your mom and your dad, but I'm a friend, not your mother. I was a human witch in the 1500s, but not since then."
Close. The images he is trying to describe would be of Dean and Cas. Sam
considers Ruby very wise but her effort to nudge his thoughts in the right
direction does little to help him relax. "I was afraid of that. It could be
ghosts or any number of things." But he knows deep down that can't
be it and runs his hands down his face. "I don't know how to say this...
but sometimes I see you and My Dad too. I think."
It is true that he had an exceptional childhood. Something would have been
off if Ruby had not been able to be part of it though. Earning her
forgiveness was/is everything to him.
Home is where the heart is what they say for a reason.
The odd thing about their long friendship is that he's never been to her
house. He wouldn't know the guest bedroom from the master to begin with. In
fact, he does know that Ruby needs very little sleep to none at all so the
offer of the biggest bedroom wouldn't strike him as strange. Honestly, she
spoils him.The least he will say he can do to pay her back is offer her the
money for the groceries she does buy.
Her reaction isn't a yes nor a no and he leans over the counter to assess
the meaning for himself. Her smile leads to his heart beating faster, mind
racing. He is almost certain she is going to confirm it when she tells it
otherwise and he sinks back into his seat. "Right, of course. Sorry for
asking like that. That's the only idea I have right now as to why I'm
seeing you and other people. Is it because we're linked from the time I
was born..."
Ruby's brain always goes straight to Sam when 'tall' is a descriptor, but she can see how the descriptors would apply to Dean and Cas as well. Sorry, Sam. She's thought about how this would go thousands of times, but there's still no script for it. "You know a little bit about ghosts. Do you think that's what it is?" She smiles a little. "Of course, I've known your dad a long time, but unless what you're seeing is me trying to set him up with your mom, it's probably not me and your dad." Ruby hopes that shuts down Sam's thoughts that her and his dad were together.
She's forgiven him a long time ago, but it does still sting. He can work on replacing that with so much joy that she forgets.
Not many people come to her house. It's her sanctuary, her safe place, but he wasn't invited because there is too much here that could trigger his memories early; there are smells and pictures, marks on the wall from measuring the girls over the years, the nicked doorframe from moving in the war table from the bunker with all of their initials on it, that table itself is still in the library. Their bedroom is full of little mementos he'll be free to peruse while in there. She doesn't need him to pay her back. In a sense, she's been saving money for this for decades. She wants to spoil him.
She shakes her head at his apology. "It's not a bad theory," she assures him. She takes a sip of her win and says very quietly "...or from before," she suggests. She shrugs. "Just an idea."
It's an apt thought process to assume 'tall' describes Sam but he would
most likely have to say everyone is short if he went by his height.
Something about it doesn't strike him as ghosts either but he won't rule it
out just yet. "I read something about ghost sickness once where they pass
their fear on to you. It's not the same as that but it could be similar. Do
you think I could be seeing the memories of a ghost?" It's almost
rhetorical as his expression neither seems convinced or sure with where
he's going with it. He does breathe silently easier with her assurance.
"You set them up?" That seems to be another important detail to take from
that.
The next hundred or so years from now is all he can ask her to give him to
make it up.
Maybe that will change when they're whole and together again. Family was
once part of their lives and the house was a hub for every special occasion
that came along. Most of their memories would definitely be in their
bedroom-- everything from wedding photos to the girls' milestones or even
the photographs of his brother just outside the door --if she left things
mostly unchanged. Quite honestly, Sam will be curious about each and every
photo later tonight and find the memories come back to him so clear and
fast that it'll hurt him more to know he ever forgot their faces. Even so,
he'll feel the need to pay her back. It's the principle of the matter.
However, he will learn to accept that many things can still be considered
marital property.
He eyes her meaning uncertainly but yawns behind his hand. "So you're not
sure either." It sounds like what she's saying. "I hope you don't think I
sound crazy." He beseeches her with a glance to confirm that she doesn't.
She's the last person he'd want to look at him like a freak. Before the tea
gets any colder, he places both hands on the side of his cup to measure the
heat and bring it to his lips. It's Earl Grey, his favorite, which does
some to sooth his head.
Fair point. She's just not thinking that way right now. In any case, the questions are good. He's tossing things around and considering them. She shakes her head a little. "If you were possessed by a ghost then maybe, but you'd also likely be missing time. I can't really do an anti possession spell on you, but I think we'd both know if were possessed by a ghost." Obviously, she can't do the spell because she's possessing a body. She shrugs a little. "Your dad was new in town. Your mom wasn't seeing anyone. They seemed like a good idea to me."
The rest of her existence is his.
It probably will be different with him back. He always did make her more social, more human. She has left much of it unchanged, including the photos of him and Dean. The bedroom looks very similar to the way it did when he lived here previously. They'll work on his idea of what he does and doesn't owe her.
"I promise I don't think you're crazy," she assures him. She sees that yawn and stands up. "Come on. You need some sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning." Assuming he doesn't object, she'll lead him back to the main bedroom and open the door. She walks into the room ahead of him and goes to the walk-in closet. She pulls a pair of sweatpants out of one of the drawers and puts them on the bed. "There are extra blankets in the trunk at the end bed. If you need anything else, let me know. I'll be in the living room."
As promised, she will be in the living room at least until he falls asleep. Once she hears his rhythmic breathing and his slowed heartbeat, she'll run to the grocery store to tock up on all of Sam's favorite foods, both from his previous life and from this one. There will be sugary cereal as well as healthy options like bananas.
For the most part, he is pretty sure he sounds out of his right mind. Ruby listens to him and that eases a lot of the knots in his stomach. He sighs a little because her points also make sense, if not more. "I'm not missing any time." He deflates even though he is glad to not be possessed. If he were, he'd do the spell himself because he wouldn't want to push Ruby out of her body. His smile creeps up on him. "How did you do that? I never thought of you as much of a matchmaker."
Only if his existence belongs to her.
She's met most of his friends from school so finding time to hang out with them won't change. If anything, the future introduction of her as his girlfriend rather than a family friend would make his heart beat faster. Those photos of Dean would finally put a face to some of the blurry visions he's been seeing. There should be some photographs of Castiel, Jack and Bobby around too. They will, and it should all work out okay if there are ways to spoil her too.
"Good. Because it's the only thing I don't want right now," he tells her honestly. The yawn goes on for a second more before his eyes sleepily follow her movement. "Now? Don't you think we should stay up and figure it out?" It's not so much a protest to her suggestion and he still stands to follow just behind her. The pictures along the walls do capture his attention but he keeps up with her. He sits on the edge of the bed when she goes into the closet and waits there for a moment. "I've seen this room before," he acknowledges, heart increasing by one or two beats. He looks down at the clothes offered to him for PJs. "Wait. These don't belong to your..." Can she blame him for not finishing the sentence? It always seemed like a sore subject to bring up her former husband. If Ruby didn't stop to answer, she was gone in a blink of an eye.
Sleep doesn't come easy for him in the first hour or so because of the familiarity of the room, which leads him to poke around a bit. This spurs more visions to crop up. Faces and names become so clear that by the time he crawls into the bed, he enters a world where his dreams let more of his lost memories come flooding back. Some of it causes him to sweat, other times his heart rate seems to indicate he's in a happier place.
Morning comes and he crawls out of bed a little later than he would have with his own alarm clock. His hair askew and old clothing on, he enters the kitchen to see the set up Ruby made for him. His attention flickers to the option of having sliced banana over top of a sugary cereal but he finds his focus moves and stays with Ruby. "I think we should have that talk now. There were more visions in my sleep last night and I'm starting to see the bigger picture. We lived here, didn't we? For many years."
But the truth is, there's still a lot of blanks even with what he saw last night.
If the same thing were happening to her, she'd probably think she was going crazy as well. Ruby wishes there was a better way to do this; she wishes she knew how to ease him into the situation. She's doing the best she can. The matchmaking is a nice bright spot in the conversation. She brushes off the admiration a bit sheepishly. "Really, I just introduced them. I made them go on a hunt together. Vengeful spirit. The rest just sort of fell into place."
It always has whether he knows it or not.
It'll actually be a relief not to have to pretend, to watch everything she did and said, especially as he's gotten older. The older he gets the more he looks like, sounds like, and acts like her Sam. She'll take note of that increase in his heart rate as a good thing. There are photographs of Jack and Cas throughout the house. She will accept all the spoiling.
She softens at his words. "Puppy, you never have to worry about that with me." She shakes her head at his protest. "I think you'll think more clearly with some sleep and I can spend the evening doing some research based on what you've told me. In the morning, we'll figure it out." She's hoping she'll figure out where to lead him next. He can spend as much time perusing the photos tomorrow. Her brows go up in surprise when he says he's seen this room before. She's fairly sure that he hasn't because he's never been to this house before, but that doesn't mean he's not seeing memories of it. Rather than contradict him or confirm for him, she stays quiet. She gives him a bit of a sad smile and nods. "Yes, they belonged to my husband, Samuel. Though, if it makes you feel better, sometimes, I wear them." She reaches out and ruffles a hand through his hair. "Try to get some sleep. I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
She definitely did sit outside his door after she'd come back from the grocery store listening to his heartbeat and breathing. She's aware of those happy dreams.
Ruby still cooks for the Greats, but she hadn't been sure when Sam would wake up. She hadn't wanted to hurry him. Besides, in her memory, one of Sam's guilty pleasures was sugary cereal and bananas. She figures it's bound to unleash some memories for him. When Sam walks into the kitchen, Ruby is there at the table with a mug of fancy coffee. She's wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, but she's wearing ridiculous fuzzy socks today instead of her heeled boots. She can't help but smile at Sam's revelation. She bites her bottom lip and nods at Sam. "Yes. We did. We were very happy." She watches Sam for a moment. "What do you want to know?"
It makes her come across as modest to brush off her role in matchmaking his
parents. "You don't know that. Maybe they would have never met if you
didn't help them find each other."
Maybe Sam will also come to realize that those feelings of Deja vu with her
the last couple of years is not because he's imagining things. He wonders
who they are in the back of his mind. The first thing he will have to do is
take her on a (first) date similar to the time they first met.
"It's Sammy," he reminds her. Out of the two nicknames, Sammy makes him
sound less like a kid. She will find even now her opinion carries weight
with him and his gaze lowers as well as his head to agree with her. "In the
morning, we'll figure it out," he says more positively. Things will likely
work themselves out without her help before the sun comes up. It's likely
he will linger on the staircase eyeing all the photographs before he meets
her in the kitchen in the morning (spoiler: he does). There are bits and
pieces to why he feels that way, but since Ruby does not ask, Sam doesn't
try to explain anymore than that. "Sorry. I should keep my mouth shut." He
glances back at Ruby apologetically. His hair turns to static through her
fingers and he might look a little like a hedgehog with his short uniform
hair. "Good night, Ruby. And thank you for letting me stay tonight."
Most of the dreams revolve around Ruby, but not all of them are nice. It's
clearer what they are to each other when he wakes up. Sam isn't so sure how
it's possible though.
The smells are amazing coming from the kitchen. Her skill with cooking is
not in question. He was a fan of cereal and bananas but the omelets behind
her also caught his attention for a brief second. The smile and removal of
said smile from her face moves his attention back to her. It saddened him
to have her think she needed to hide it. "I saw it wasn't easy for us
either," he offers. Some of the dreams had been about Tammy and Ruby
pushing him away too. The dreams alone are rather convoluted to make full
sense of, but he shakes his head to clear them away. Firstly, "I want to
know how it's possible to be him and me."
"Maybe," she agrees. Yes, it's modesty of a sort, but it's also Ruby not being comfortable with 'doing something good'. After all of these years, she's still uncomfortable with her status as a good guy (not that she doesn't want to be the good guy, but she's still very aware of all the things she did prior to turning a new leaf).
She will cherish and look forward to that 'first' date. She'll also notice that he fashioned it after their first first date.
Ruby brushes off Sam's correction of the pet name. She'll call him whatever she wants to call him as she always has. He'll come to accept it, perhaps grudgingly, but with the realization that it is a show of affection from her. She stops at the door at his apology and turns to look at him, her smile soft and fond. "Sam, you can ask anything you like, even about my husband," she assures him. "You're welcome. Mi casa es su casa." Yes, it's a common phrase, but it also happens to be true in this case. He just doesn't know it yet.
Ruby sees his attention flicker to the omelets so she gets up, grabs one, and puts it in front of him. "Not always," she admits. "I think that's life, in general, more than a reflection on us. Or maybe that's what I want to believe." She takes a sip of her coffee before she answers his question. "Reincarnation. Jack. They're both correct answers. You wanted this though, in Heaven. You missed me. I missed you and since I'm a demon..." she lifts one shoulder with the implied I don't get to go to Heaven. "You helped with every aspect of planning. Jack thinks you'll remember Heaven eventually. If you don't already."
Sam can only think that part of her being uncomfortable with praise makes
her one of the good guys. He ducks his head to hide his smile if only to
make sure she isn't more uncomfortable.
The hope is that she will be half as smug as she was on the first date.
He's been trying to get her to stop, on and off, for years so being brushed
off doesn't phase him. It helps that they're alone actually. No one can
witness it. At the same time, being alone with her causes the butterflies
to flutter in his stomach. It's not the first time it's happened and a
little easier to ignore. His eyes lock with her when she turns back. "No te
molestaré preguntándote por tu marido." I won't put you out by asking
about your husband. It's a common phase in Spanish, but it seems like a
good chance to show her how much he's improved. "Gracias."
He opens his mouth to stop her from getting up when he sees what she's
getting but settles on a 'thank you' instead. It lightens his mood to have
someone that looks out of him (more accurately: her). "Were we happy?"
That's the big one. He's seen her smile in his memories, the two of them go
on dates, or be intimate with each other but also the truth in how hard it
was to find a balance. There are gaps, admittedly, and he is trying to fill
them. What happened after is the biggest blank. He takes a tiny portion of
the egg and it tastes as one would expect but he could swear it was the
least bland thing he had in days. Reincarnation and Jack, she tells him.
Heaven. Missing her. These are the keywords that trigger a picture of
the nephilim he once called son. Despite all the information, his brows
knit together at how unfair it is for her to have not been able to join
him. He shakes his head. "I don't think I remember Heaven yet. I don't care
about that. There has to be a way to get you into Heaven if you want it."
There isn't anything he wouldn't do now to change what he's reading between
the lines of her implied ban.
She's not certain she's one of the good guys, but she knows she's not one of the bad guys.
He needn't worry about that. She's very good at smug.
He'll learn to embrace the pet names; he did in his first life anyway. She always gets butterflies with him. She's just learned how to deal with them after many years of practice. She lets out the slightest bit of a sigh that he might take to mean a lot of things. It's a good meter for how much he's figuring out from the memories. "You've been practicing," she responds in Spanish in return.
She can't help but smile at Sam's question. It's a great question. "We were very happy," she assures him. "Every marriage has its ups and downs I think, but we had a lot more ups than downs." She'll try to help fill in the blanks, but if he's honest about his questions and where those gaps are, it will go faster. She doesn't mourn her husband (Sam) anymore simply because he's right here and she knows that they'll have a life together again. Sam's death doesn't hurt her and she likes remembering their life together. Her smile turns a little sad at Sam's words. "Not as long as I'm a demon." There's a way for her to be human, but Sam probably doesn't know that yet. It's complicated and a decision she'll make one of these days, though she doesn't know that yet. "It's not something I have to worry about right now." As long as someone doesn't use one of the relatively few weapons that can kill her.
Mentally, Sam scratches his head at the meaning behind her sigh. Firstly,
it does go hand in hand with the words out of her mouth. His spanish seems
wholly unrelated. What does give her wistful sigh some meaning are the
dreams he's been having about her, very vividly. In these dreams, she would
sigh happily when he did something right or was closer to figuring it out.
Was that it? His gut told him yes, but there were a few pieces more
he couldn't grasp just yet.
Rather than his stomach sinking with more questions, his stomach has
butterflies too. Maybe it's because of her smile just now. For a second he
feels less jealous of her former husband because of that smile even with
her answer. "I'm glad you were." If there was anyone that deserved
happiness, Ruby would be one of the top people in his book to deserve it.
There's a lot more questions at the back of his mind but he holds his
tongue for a few seconds. Not all of the questions seem like the right ones
to ask. But one stands out eventually.
"What were the downs?" His soul has wanted to reach out and make amends
since before he was reborn. Not all of it makes sense yet but he mourns
what he's done to her. He mourns being able to wake up to her every
morning. Being a teenager with all these dreams the last few months,
especially, has been like torture.
There is no written way for her to become human in any book he's read. It's
common knowledge that demons were once human though. The sad twist of her
smile pulls at his heartstrings and he speaks before thinking, "No. Yeah.
You're right. It's not the only way to be together forever. I can become a
demon. I. I wouldn't know where to start, but you showed me not all demons
are bad. I can fight it." It is complicated and he is naive but also
devoted to her. "Why? Because nothing can kill you." He fills in the blank,
unaware of anything that can kill a demon. Angel blades and Ruby's have
long since been in Ruby's possession with very few out there.
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peaceonearth) wrote2021-10-27 04:47 pm
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Will she come?
He had as many questions as the doubts that filled his head while he waited for her to show. He will have to make a formal apology to Bert for trying to throw kindness his way later because when the man started talking to him, he was skittish and turned the other way. It just so happens he spies Ruby headed in his direction when he does. She hasn't changed much either but that's to be expected. He catches himself thinking that she looks good in what she has on, but shakes his head out of it. He knows he's better than those thoughts. In his gut, he knows she's still married even though she's a widow; he can't explain why though. He stops just in front of her. "Um, you came." He swallows, ready for a gentle admonishment or anything of the sort. He sort of anticipates that he is in trouble without any other idea of what she might say. "I didn't bring anything else, just me- and this." He holds the journal of John Winchester in hand-- his prize possession. "So I don't have to wait for bags to be unloaded."
He can't let himself complete that thought or have it slip out. He just knows he can't blow it by getting sent away and not be close to her first.
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She’ll take of Bert later. That’s assuming the old man even remembers the incident. She’ll also properly introduce them once Sam is acclimated a little. She smiles very softly at his comment. “Of course, I did. I’m always here if you need me, Sam.” The last thing he’s going to get is an admonishment from her right now. When he says he didn’t bring anything else she holds her hand out to him.
She hesitates a moment longer. “Is it okay to go back to the house or…there’s an all night diner that does good pancakes. There won’t me many people there this time of night, but there’ll be a few.”
You know, in case he’s not quite ready to be alone with her.
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His stomach decides for the both of them with a rumble when he can't decide either. "The diner? I think I should it something." Which gives him little choice, unless she has food at home. They both know that's unlikely. It has nothing to do with his comfort in being alone with her, yet. He fishes into his pockets and pulls out what little he has to count.
"I think I can afford something small and we can go back to the house. When we talk, there shouldn't be anybody around."
Part of it is him, part of him remembers that Ruby isn't the type to do public. There are so many questions swimming in that noggin of his that he wouldn't want them in earshot.
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He looks very vulnerable and she wants to wrap her arms around him, but this isn't the time and she's not entirely sure that it wouldn't scare him away. Honestly, she's a little surprised and a lot relieved when he puts his hand in hers. His hand is already so much larger than hers, but she twines her fingers with his, hoping that this is some comfort.
His grumbling stomach makes her smirk a bit and nod. "The diner it is and it's my treat. Get whatever you want and we'll head back to the house when you're ready."
No, she's a bit of an introvert in general. He remembers that correctly. He's probably right about people not being within earshot. The questions and answers are likely to make them sound crazy to anyone who overhears.
The SUV is right outside. It's the same one he's seen for years now at his basketball games and occasionally parked outside his house. She gets into the driver's side and sets a route for the diner. It's not a very long trip, but then the trip to anywhere in Sioux Falls isn't.
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Ruby could never scare him away but it would set things back to be hugged by her in his confused state. Most likely he would be stuck hugging her there for a while as a result. Yes, he trusts her enough to take her hand when she offers it to him, taking some sense of belonging out of it. He stopped feeling lost at that moment too. Looking down at her hand in his, he can't believe how much smaller her hand seems to be. In truth he never stopped growing since the last time they saw each other.
He frowns a little at his stomach and opens his mouth to decline her offer but can't quite bring himself to do so. "Wait... You sure? It's not like I can't buy something by myself." He has very little idea how if would put her out or not and it's not his intention either way. She makes some valid points down the line just by being Ruby and one to insist kindly so when they get to the restaurant he orders the pancakes and a side of soup to go.
It's exactly what he is afraid of too. If he thinks his questions sound crazy, other people will as well. What worries him most is if Ruby will treat it like he's lost it. The last thing he wants is her to look at him like he should be locked up.
The SUV is one he would recognize anywhere. The stickers he placed on the license plate as a child are still on it and the toy soldier he gave her on a shoestring to hang on the mirror as well. He makes himself comfortable in the passenger seat for the duration. Eventually, they turn down a private driveway that leads up to a house. Nothing seems unusual about it at first but then a flash of deja vu washes over him and he rocks forward in his seat and pinches his nose with a grunt. Just like right now he saw himself in the passenger's seat coming up to the house with Ruby driving but it was daylight and the house was badly in need of TLC.
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She remembers a time when his hand was the smaller one and those are memories she cherishes, but that's neither here nor there. She's pretty sure he's always felt a certain sense of belonging when holding her hand, even when he was a little kid. As a baby, he never failed to stop crying the minute she held him.
She assures him that it's not going to put her out to buy him food. She makes her points and she's relieved that he lets her pay for the food. She'll have to stock the house with groceries the first chance she gets. She's relieved when he orders everything to go. It tells her that whatever he's seeing in his head, it's not making him afraid to be alone with her.
No matter what he asks (even if it involves her being his birth mom) she won't think he's crazy. Confused about what he's remembering, yes, but not crazy. He doesn't have to worry about any judgment from her ever, but especially now.
The stickers and the army man are two of her favorite things about the vehicle. They've spent a lot of time in that SUV talking. It's not a long drive, but when Sam reacts to the sight of the house, Ruby reaches over to put her hand on his back to ground him in the moment as much as anything. "Just breathe through it, Sam." She's only got a vague idea of what's happening, but her advice is good for so many different scenarios.
Once the moment has passed, she leads the way inside, unlocking the door, taking care to leave it unlocked behind them. The house is in the middle of nowhere and it's safe enough to leave unlocked for the moment. "You can eat in the living room or the kitchen. I'm going to make some tea and have a glass of wine. Do you want anything?"
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For now it does more good to have her confirmation knowing him since birth is all. There is a long list of questions before he gets remotely close to ready for her to tell the story from the beginning. He sighs in relief to hear that he isn't a witch as that would change a lot about how he viewed his life. Finally, he can let go of that nagging feeling his parents might have lied to him. Yes, Ruby he will believe without the smallest of doubts. "I don't know what's happening to me then. I'm seeing people and events I've never experienced before. If I'm not a witch, another possibility is that I got cursed or... or, or I'm connected to somebody else. I keep seeing you most of all." He turns a little red at the end there, but if there's anyone that can help him solve his dilemma, it would be her.
He doesn't remember that far back but he used to cry when she would have to go or it was bedtime. When he was smaller, separation from her was the worst thing he could imagine. That said, half his attention falls down to the hand that held hers throughout the drive. It felt nice to have her hand in his a second ago.
Her strongest point was how he was now her guest and he could expect to be treated as much. Or maybe it was just that he could decline only so many times before it was considered rude. His parents raised him to be polite. Of course he will thank her for going out of her way to prepare food. It goes without saying that her anticipating all his favorites will make him rather speechless. Imagining himself having sex with her as a well toned man isn't something to be afraid of per se, but at the same time, he isn't volunteering that information.
What would she think of me? How would she think of me if she knew? He questions himself. The Ruby he knows is a widower who may or may not have the occasional hook up. None of it really seems like his place to ask.
There's still some disconnect with the memories seeming like someone else's.
He was so set in decorating her car when he was small to impress her. They had driven back from basketball practice back to his house in more recent memory in that SUV. It holds fond memories of the two of them laughing or talking about a shared interest. His sharp intakes of air continue until the images of the house slow right down to one particular clear memory-- it looked like the day when two of them, one of them being Ruby, were moving in. The man that lent his perspective to Sam carried her over the threshold before the image vanished and he found himself gripping his knees with a fair amount of pressure. He could just barely register what Ruby said to him but her hand on his back helped him find his way back to reality. He couldn't even begin to tell her what just happened even if he tried.
He hesitates for a moment to follow behind her but steps out of the car because it seems like she wants him to. He pays particular attention to her leaving the door unlocked behind them, thinking there must be more meaning behind it. No, he doesn't think she's dangerous. "Tea would be good, thank you." The kitchen seems more appropriate to follow her even if he rather sit and relax on a couch. He begins to spread out his take out until she joins him with her wine. "About why I'm here. The truth is. I think there's something wrong with me and you're the only one that links it all together. Can you help me?"
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She was told a few stories at the time. Unfortunately, particularly when he was that young, she tried very hard to respect the short time his parents had with him before he became hers. They'd wanted a child very badly and this had been the only way they could have one.
Ruby suspects that he may be seeing some sort of memory like that and she wouldn't think anything about him except that he's a very normal eighteen-year-old despite the fact that he's anything but normal. He's got every right to ask those questions, though he doesn't realize it yet. She didn't have the occasional hook-up. It had seemed pointless and a lot like cheating once he'd been born again. Prior to his reincarnation, she had considered it, but then he'd slipped up and she hadn't wanted to hurt him
the way he'd hurt her.Fair enough. They'd been warned it might not be seamless or smooth and they'd both accepted that. However these memories go and this situation resolves, they'd both agreed that it would be worth it to have a chance at another life together.
She remembers that day so clearly and so fondly. The decision to move into Bobby's former house hadn't been an easy one, but the bunker had quickly become hunter central and neither of them had wanted to be in the thick of it. They'd wanted a life separate from hunting, but not exclude it. Bobby's house had given them the chance to help with the hunter network, to help the hunters and not have that be their whole lives.
The hesitation worries her a little, but ultimately she knows that all of this has to happen on Sam's schedule so she doesn't try to hurry him along, but is glad when he follows her into the house. She puts the kettle on to boil and opens an old red wine then pours herself a glass before she sits opposite him at the table. It's a different table than the one they'd sat at a century ago, but it still feels the same. "First of all, there's nothing wrong with you, Sam, but I'll do everything I can to help you figure this out. What other sorts of ideas do you have about what is going on?" She hopes it sounds like she's helping him field theories. In a way she is, but she's also nudging him along to come to the right conclusion himself.
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That is the contract they all agreed to. Sam still grew up with a connection to Ruby but his childhood was filled with happy moments exclusive to his parents in this life. Depending on how one looked at it, it was fortunate that this was now over and the clock was ticking in Ruby's favor. However, Sam would still be part of the Smith (former alternate universe-rich Winchester bloodline) for the rest of his life.
Reincarnation had just been the first step to putting himself in a position to make amends for that. The memories are sure to pick up with increasing frequency from here on.
It was not easy to decide to take more of a supportive role and move away from a primary role in hunting. Moving into Bobby's house was no mistake though. Sam now may not be able to piece together the reason he feels this way from the vision but the emotion is very clear. Life had more to offer to the pair when they moved in.
It might help him piece things together faster if he slept first, but he feels a sense of responsibility in staying up as long as possible to work this out with her. Ruby's offer does sound like she is active in helping him. He has no reason to doubt her. First, hearing it straight from her mouth makes him nod and believe again there is nothing wrong with him. Second, it's right on the tip of his tongue when she asks him about his other theories.
"There's one theory that won't go away," he admits. "You. You could be -- but I don't know if I can believe it -- is that you're my birth mom. Were you human before too?"
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As he should be. Ruby wouldn't have it any other way. She'll forever be grateful to the Smith family for giving Sam a good childhood and a second life.
Their life together in Bobby's house had been a good life and it's been home to Ruby for much longer, but her real home is Sam. It's the only home she's ever felt in her bones and her soul.
Once he's finished eating, Ruby will suggest he get some sleep. She'd intended to offer him the guest room, but now thinks it might help him to sleep in their room. She'd take the couch for what little dozing she did, but she's already planning on having a productive night that includes grocery shopping. Sioux Falls may not be large, but they do have a twenty-four-hour grocery store.
His theory takes her by surprise and that's probably evident on her face. She hesitates then smiles softly at him. "Sam, I promise I am not your birth mother. I was in the room when you were born along with your mom and your dad, but I'm a friend, not your mother. I was a human witch in the 1500s, but not since then."
no subject
Close. The images he is trying to describe would be of Dean and Cas. Sam considers Ruby very wise but her effort to nudge his thoughts in the right direction does little to help him relax. "I was afraid of that. It could be ghosts or any number of things." But he knows deep down that can't be it and runs his hands down his face. "I don't know how to say this... but sometimes I see you and My Dad too. I think."
It is true that he had an exceptional childhood. Something would have been off if Ruby had not been able to be part of it though. Earning her forgiveness was/is everything to him.
Home is where the heart is what they say for a reason.
The odd thing about their long friendship is that he's never been to her house. He wouldn't know the guest bedroom from the master to begin with. In fact, he does know that Ruby needs very little sleep to none at all so the offer of the biggest bedroom wouldn't strike him as strange. Honestly, she spoils him.The least he will say he can do to pay her back is offer her the money for the groceries she does buy.
Her reaction isn't a yes nor a no and he leans over the counter to assess the meaning for himself. Her smile leads to his heart beating faster, mind racing. He is almost certain she is going to confirm it when she tells it otherwise and he sinks back into his seat. "Right, of course. Sorry for asking like that. That's the only idea I have right now as to why I'm seeing you and other people. Is it because we're linked from the time I was born..."
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She's forgiven him a long time ago, but it does still sting. He can work on replacing that with so much joy that she forgets.
Not many people come to her house. It's her sanctuary, her safe place, but he wasn't invited because there is too much here that could trigger his memories early; there are smells and pictures, marks on the wall from measuring the girls over the years, the nicked doorframe from moving in the war table from the bunker with all of their initials on it, that table itself is still in the library. Their bedroom is full of little mementos he'll be free to peruse while in there. She doesn't need him to pay her back. In a sense, she's been saving money for this for decades. She wants to spoil him.
She shakes her head at his apology. "It's not a bad theory," she assures him. She takes a sip of her win and says very quietly "...or from before," she suggests. She shrugs. "Just an idea."
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It's an apt thought process to assume 'tall' describes Sam but he would most likely have to say everyone is short if he went by his height. Something about it doesn't strike him as ghosts either but he won't rule it out just yet. "I read something about ghost sickness once where they pass their fear on to you. It's not the same as that but it could be similar. Do you think I could be seeing the memories of a ghost?" It's almost rhetorical as his expression neither seems convinced or sure with where he's going with it. He does breathe silently easier with her assurance. "You set them up?" That seems to be another important detail to take from that.
The next hundred or so years from now is all he can ask her to give him to make it up.
Maybe that will change when they're whole and together again. Family was once part of their lives and the house was a hub for every special occasion that came along. Most of their memories would definitely be in their bedroom-- everything from wedding photos to the girls' milestones or even the photographs of his brother just outside the door --if she left things mostly unchanged. Quite honestly, Sam will be curious about each and every photo later tonight and find the memories come back to him so clear and fast that it'll hurt him more to know he ever forgot their faces. Even so, he'll feel the need to pay her back. It's the principle of the matter. However, he will learn to accept that many things can still be considered marital property.
He eyes her meaning uncertainly but yawns behind his hand. "So you're not sure either." It sounds like what she's saying. "I hope you don't think I sound crazy." He beseeches her with a glance to confirm that she doesn't. She's the last person he'd want to look at him like a freak. Before the tea gets any colder, he places both hands on the side of his cup to measure the heat and bring it to his lips. It's Earl Grey, his favorite, which does some to sooth his head.
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The rest of her existence is his.
It probably will be different with him back. He always did make her more social, more human. She has left much of it unchanged, including the photos of him and Dean. The bedroom looks very similar to the way it did when he lived here previously. They'll work on his idea of what he does and doesn't owe her.
"I promise I don't think you're crazy," she assures him. She sees that yawn and stands up. "Come on. You need some sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning." Assuming he doesn't object, she'll lead him back to the main bedroom and open the door. She walks into the room ahead of him and goes to the walk-in closet. She pulls a pair of sweatpants out of one of the drawers and puts them on the bed. "There are extra blankets in the trunk at the end bed. If you need anything else, let me know. I'll be in the living room."
As promised, she will be in the living room at least until he falls asleep. Once she hears his rhythmic breathing and his slowed heartbeat, she'll run to the grocery store to tock up on all of Sam's favorite foods, both from his previous life and from this one. There will be sugary cereal as well as healthy options like bananas.
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Only if his existence belongs to her.
She's met most of his friends from school so finding time to hang out with them won't change. If anything, the future introduction of her as his girlfriend rather than a family friend would make his heart beat faster. Those photos of Dean would finally put a face to some of the blurry visions he's been seeing. There should be some photographs of Castiel, Jack and Bobby around too. They will, and it should all work out okay if there are ways to spoil her too.
"Good. Because it's the only thing I don't want right now," he tells her honestly. The yawn goes on for a second more before his eyes sleepily follow her movement. "Now? Don't you think we should stay up and figure it out?" It's not so much a protest to her suggestion and he still stands to follow just behind her. The pictures along the walls do capture his attention but he keeps up with her. He sits on the edge of the bed when she goes into the closet and waits there for a moment. "I've seen this room before," he acknowledges, heart increasing by one or two beats. He looks down at the clothes offered to him for PJs. "Wait. These don't belong to your..." Can she blame him for not finishing the sentence? It always seemed like a sore subject to bring up her former husband. If Ruby didn't stop to answer, she was gone in a blink of an eye.
Sleep doesn't come easy for him in the first hour or so because of the familiarity of the room, which leads him to poke around a bit. This spurs more visions to crop up. Faces and names become so clear that by the time he crawls into the bed, he enters a world where his dreams let more of his lost memories come flooding back. Some of it causes him to sweat, other times his heart rate seems to indicate he's in a happier place.
Morning comes and he crawls out of bed a little later than he would have with his own alarm clock. His hair askew and old clothing on, he enters the kitchen to see the set up Ruby made for him. His attention flickers to the option of having sliced banana over top of a sugary cereal but he finds his focus moves and stays with Ruby. "I think we should have that talk now. There were more visions in my sleep last night and I'm starting to see the bigger picture. We lived here, didn't we? For many years."
But the truth is, there's still a lot of blanks even with what he saw last night.
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It always has whether he knows it or not.
It'll actually be a relief not to have to pretend, to watch everything she did and said, especially as he's gotten older. The older he gets the more he looks like, sounds like, and acts like her Sam. She'll take note of that increase in his heart rate as a good thing. There are photographs of Jack and Cas throughout the house. She will accept all the spoiling.
She softens at his words. "Puppy, you never have to worry about that with me." She shakes her head at his protest. "I think you'll think more clearly with some sleep and I can spend the evening doing some research based on what you've told me. In the morning, we'll figure it out." She's hoping she'll figure out where to lead him next. He can spend as much time perusing the photos tomorrow. Her brows go up in surprise when he says he's seen this room before. She's fairly sure that he hasn't because he's never been to this house before, but that doesn't mean he's not seeing memories of it. Rather than contradict him or confirm for him, she stays quiet. She gives him a bit of a sad smile and nods. "Yes, they belonged to my husband, Samuel. Though, if it makes you feel better, sometimes, I wear them." She reaches out and ruffles a hand through his hair. "Try to get some sleep. I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
She definitely did sit outside his door after she'd come back from the grocery store listening to his heartbeat and breathing. She's aware of those happy dreams.
Ruby still cooks for the Greats, but she hadn't been sure when Sam would wake up. She hadn't wanted to hurry him. Besides, in her memory, one of Sam's guilty pleasures was sugary cereal and bananas. She figures it's bound to unleash some memories for him. When Sam walks into the kitchen, Ruby is there at the table with a mug of fancy coffee. She's wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, but she's wearing ridiculous fuzzy socks today instead of her heeled boots. She can't help but smile at Sam's revelation. She bites her bottom lip and nods at Sam. "Yes. We did. We were very happy." She watches Sam for a moment. "What do you want to know?"
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It makes her come across as modest to brush off her role in matchmaking his parents. "You don't know that. Maybe they would have never met if you didn't help them find each other."
Maybe Sam will also come to realize that those feelings of Deja vu with her the last couple of years is not because he's imagining things. He wonders who they are in the back of his mind. The first thing he will have to do is take her on a (first) date similar to the time they first met.
"It's Sammy," he reminds her. Out of the two nicknames, Sammy makes him sound less like a kid. She will find even now her opinion carries weight with him and his gaze lowers as well as his head to agree with her. "In the morning, we'll figure it out," he says more positively. Things will likely work themselves out without her help before the sun comes up. It's likely he will linger on the staircase eyeing all the photographs before he meets her in the kitchen in the morning (spoiler: he does). There are bits and pieces to why he feels that way, but since Ruby does not ask, Sam doesn't try to explain anymore than that. "Sorry. I should keep my mouth shut." He glances back at Ruby apologetically. His hair turns to static through her fingers and he might look a little like a hedgehog with his short uniform hair. "Good night, Ruby. And thank you for letting me stay tonight."
Most of the dreams revolve around Ruby, but not all of them are nice. It's clearer what they are to each other when he wakes up. Sam isn't so sure how it's possible though.
The smells are amazing coming from the kitchen. Her skill with cooking is not in question. He was a fan of cereal and bananas but the omelets behind her also caught his attention for a brief second. The smile and removal of said smile from her face moves his attention back to her. It saddened him to have her think she needed to hide it. "I saw it wasn't easy for us either," he offers. Some of the dreams had been about Tammy and Ruby pushing him away too. The dreams alone are rather convoluted to make full sense of, but he shakes his head to clear them away. Firstly, "I want to know how it's possible to be him and me."
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She will cherish and look forward to that 'first' date. She'll also notice that he fashioned it after their first first date.
Ruby brushes off Sam's correction of the pet name. She'll call him whatever she wants to call him as she always has. He'll come to accept it, perhaps grudgingly, but with the realization that it is a show of affection from her. She stops at the door at his apology and turns to look at him, her smile soft and fond. "Sam, you can ask anything you like, even about my husband," she assures him. "You're welcome. Mi casa es su casa." Yes, it's a common phrase, but it also happens to be true in this case. He just doesn't know it yet.
Ruby sees his attention flicker to the omelets so she gets up, grabs one, and puts it in front of him. "Not always," she admits. "I think that's life, in general, more than a reflection on us. Or maybe that's what I want to believe." She takes a sip of her coffee before she answers his question. "Reincarnation. Jack. They're both correct answers. You wanted this though, in Heaven. You missed me. I missed you and since I'm a demon..." she lifts one shoulder with the implied I don't get to go to Heaven. "You helped with every aspect of planning. Jack thinks you'll remember Heaven eventually. If you don't already."
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Sam can only think that part of her being uncomfortable with praise makes her one of the good guys. He ducks his head to hide his smile if only to make sure she isn't more uncomfortable.
The hope is that she will be half as smug as she was on the first date.
He's been trying to get her to stop, on and off, for years so being brushed off doesn't phase him. It helps that they're alone actually. No one can witness it. At the same time, being alone with her causes the butterflies to flutter in his stomach. It's not the first time it's happened and a little easier to ignore. His eyes lock with her when she turns back. "No te molestaré preguntándote por tu marido." I won't put you out by asking about your husband. It's a common phase in Spanish, but it seems like a good chance to show her how much he's improved. "Gracias."
He opens his mouth to stop her from getting up when he sees what she's getting but settles on a 'thank you' instead. It lightens his mood to have someone that looks out of him (more accurately: her). "Were we happy?" That's the big one. He's seen her smile in his memories, the two of them go on dates, or be intimate with each other but also the truth in how hard it was to find a balance. There are gaps, admittedly, and he is trying to fill them. What happened after is the biggest blank. He takes a tiny portion of the egg and it tastes as one would expect but he could swear it was the least bland thing he had in days. Reincarnation and Jack, she tells him. Heaven. Missing her. These are the keywords that trigger a picture of the nephilim he once called son. Despite all the information, his brows knit together at how unfair it is for her to have not been able to join him. He shakes his head. "I don't think I remember Heaven yet. I don't care about that. There has to be a way to get you into Heaven if you want it." There isn't anything he wouldn't do now to change what he's reading between the lines of her implied ban.
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He needn't worry about that. She's very good at smug.
He'll learn to embrace the pet names; he did in his first life anyway. She always gets butterflies with him. She's just learned how to deal with them after many years of practice. She lets out the slightest bit of a sigh that he might take to mean a lot of things. It's a good meter for how much he's figuring out from the memories. "You've been practicing," she responds in Spanish in return.
She can't help but smile at Sam's question. It's a great question. "We were very happy," she assures him. "Every marriage has its ups and downs I think, but we had a lot more ups than downs." She'll try to help fill in the blanks, but if he's honest about his questions and where those gaps are, it will go faster. She doesn't mourn her husband (Sam) anymore simply because he's right here and she knows that they'll have a life together again. Sam's death doesn't hurt her and she likes remembering their life together. Her smile turns a little sad at Sam's words. "Not as long as I'm a demon." There's a way for her to be human, but Sam probably doesn't know that yet. It's complicated and a decision she'll make one of these days, though she doesn't know that yet. "It's not something I have to worry about right now." As long as someone doesn't use one of the relatively few weapons that can kill her.
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Mentally, Sam scratches his head at the meaning behind her sigh. Firstly, it does go hand in hand with the words out of her mouth. His spanish seems wholly unrelated. What does give her wistful sigh some meaning are the dreams he's been having about her, very vividly. In these dreams, she would sigh happily when he did something right or was closer to figuring it out. Was that it? His gut told him yes, but there were a few pieces more he couldn't grasp just yet.
Rather than his stomach sinking with more questions, his stomach has butterflies too. Maybe it's because of her smile just now. For a second he feels less jealous of her former husband because of that smile even with her answer. "I'm glad you were." If there was anyone that deserved happiness, Ruby would be one of the top people in his book to deserve it. There's a lot more questions at the back of his mind but he holds his tongue for a few seconds. Not all of the questions seem like the right ones to ask. But one stands out eventually.
"What were the downs?" His soul has wanted to reach out and make amends since before he was reborn. Not all of it makes sense yet but he mourns what he's done to her. He mourns being able to wake up to her every morning. Being a teenager with all these dreams the last few months, especially, has been like torture.
There is no written way for her to become human in any book he's read. It's common knowledge that demons were once human though. The sad twist of her smile pulls at his heartstrings and he speaks before thinking, "No. Yeah. You're right. It's not the only way to be together forever. I can become a demon. I. I wouldn't know where to start, but you showed me not all demons are bad. I can fight it." It is complicated and he is naive but also devoted to her. "Why? Because nothing can kill you." He fills in the blank, unaware of anything that can kill a demon. Angel blades and Ruby's have long since been in Ruby's possession with very few out there.