peaceonearth | I gotta go back in time

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I gotta go back in time | Life 2

It wasn't that Ruby wanted to leave this version of Sam, but she needed to get back to herversion of Sam for all of them. It was a theory, but she was pretty sure if she could get back to her version of Sam, it would dramatically change this Sam's life. In some ways, those changes would be better (they would still be together). In others...she couldn't guarantee that his son would ever exist since he wouldn't have slept with DJ's mother if Ruby were there. That being said, Ruby was in the wrong timeline. They both knew it. It had taken Sam several sleepless nights to make the decision (and in some ways it had to be his decision) but two mornings ago he'd come to her and told her he would drive her to the bunker. He'd made arrangements with Melissa for DJ to stay with her for a few days. DJ definitely thought that Sam was just skipping out with his 19 year old 'friend'for a few days. Ruby was pretty sure Sam didn't like that, but it was better than trying to explain the situation to a teenager who didn't have a clue demons, witches, or time travel existed.

The drive to Lawrence had been filled with a lot of hopeful conversation as well as some comfortable silence. There'd been a stop right outside of Lawrence where they could still see the stars bright overhead. They'd danced by the side of the road then laid on the hood of the car holding each other for a little while. Neither of them had voiced it, but they both knew that it was 'just in case' Ruby wasn't a part of his whole life. Without discussing it, they'd climbed back into the car and finished the drive. They'd had breakfast at a diner in Lawerence then gone to the bunker. Ruby had unlocked it with her key. There was a note saying that everyone was on a hunt, but had given a number to call if needed. Ruby had gone straight to the work room she'd once used to put together all her spells. It was well stocked and contained everything the letter from Her Sam had said that they'd need.

The full moon would rise soon and Ruby knew they didn't have a lot of time left. She reached out, taking Sam's hand in hers. "We're going to be okay, Puppy. If it's not okay, I'll find you, or you'll find me. We always do."

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Never once did he feel that she wanted to abandon him ~~again~~ in her desire to return to the past, but he needed those couple of days to come to terms with the risk if things didn't go as planned. He was open about what had happened when she disappeared thirty years ago. He looked for her for a solid fourteen years before one fateful night changed it all. He chanced upon a twenty something waitress who lent him her ear and she reminded him so much of Ruby at the time, quite possibly due to the little bit of alcohol in his system-- the rest was history. He had moved in with her for a short time but ultimately she wasn't ready to settle down even if she had gotten pregnant. DJ was an important part of his life. He felt guilty choosing Ruby and whatever came with the change of the timeline if they did this successfully. He chose to believe that wherever DJ landed in the new timeline he would be a happier kid--potentially with a better father to help him navigate the world. DJ was sometimes so angry due to the absence of his mother.

He held her close when they danced on the side of the road and asked her some of his questions. What happened? What was she hunting? Those sort of questions. It was as much Ruby's choice to go as it was his to help her so he held his tongue the whole while to keep himself from asking her to stay. At the restaurant, he can't help but look at her between bites and smile warmly with a hint of sadness in his eyes. At the bunker, he followed her wherever she went. He didn't know his way around the bunker as much as he hated to admit it as his mind had blocked it along with the rest of the trauma that came with her disappearance.

They didn't have much time because the detours with their drive took a good chunk of it. He squeezed her hands, not wanting to let go, but slipping out of her hands as soon the lingering was as painful as it was for her as it was for him as made evident behind her eyes. "If you believe it, I have to believe it. But know, I don't want to miss you for one day longer."

Good. She definitely didn't want him to feel that way after everything he's been through. There was a great deal of risk involved and he was taking most of it so she understood the need to take his time. She doesn't know what kind of father Sam was to DJ, but she knows what kind of man Sam is so she can't imagine he was anything less than the best father he knew how to be. The circumstances were rotten for him. She didn't begrudge him for sleeping with the waitress, but it did confirm that Sam doesn't cope with loneliness well (that's something she can think about later).

She told him everything, her head on his chest. He deserved to know all the details just in case something went wrong. She wanted to go; she wanted to see Her Sam again, but she also wanted to try to make this Sam's entire life better, not just his future. She thinks this will do that if they're successful. She sees that sadness and she doesn't know how to make it go away. He needn't feel guilty about not knowing his way around the bunker. He's only been once a long time ago. She points out things and shares some of her memories of the place (without ever bringing up that they once lived a life here because she's aware he doesn't have the memories of their past life and that's something else to unpack when if she gets back home).

The detours were for him. If she never returns to his life, she wants him to have something to remember, to remind him that she does love him. She knows it's not enough, but it's all they can spare. "You won't. Tomorrow, you will have only missed me for a week and you won't have to worry about missing me ever again." She presses her lips to his. The kiss is soft, sweet, and very much a goodbye. When it breaks, she stands with him a moment more, then steps into the protection circle and begins the spell, letting her eyes go black as she scatters the herbs and chants the words. There's a moment where everything is too still, too silent then her stomach drops and everything goes black.

"Sam?"

It should be recognized that he doesn't do well when the love of his life disappears or dies too. He never had any reservations about raising DJ as a single father. On some level, it had been DJ that saved him from a lifetime of loneliness and helped Sam continue to function in society.

For the brief conversation they had, he loved the way her hairs stuck from the static of his shirt and the way it smelled of lavender, a scent only present in the knowledge of his time with her thirty years back. He appreciates that she's forward with the truth and hopeful that her plan does work. He won't even know he's missed her if it does. His eyes do try to hide the sadness in them but his heart is always on his sleeve when it comes to honesty and her. That pain melts away little by little the more she shares with him. He's still fascinated with the bunker, the same as the first time he ever saw it (which is up for debate). Unfortunately, whether Ruby or Sam realize it, his headaches and her presence all tied into the memories he would have had come back. His headaches stopped the day she never came home.

He knew exactly what she was doing with the detours. He soaked in every second of it. Lots of that old shine he used to have when she would catch him with his eyes on her had slowly returned to his eyes over the course of the week. In particular, he enjoyed sharing the stars with her (so many new constellations to point out) and felt nostalgic when he ordered an extra helping of fries so she could help herself. It had been the first time in almost a decade and a half that he shared a meal with someone romantically. Even if everything eventually became like a dream, he would remember their time together fondly. When their kiss breaks, he brushes the little bit of the strands in the way of her full face out of the way for a last glance. He gives her the best smile he can as a proper send off. When all is said and done, he is alone in the bunker when a number flashes across his phone. It's her--

In the past or present, Sam had only written the letter to Ruby a few hours ago and left it on the tabletop in the library for future men and women of letters to pass on. The full moon had touched the sky in full effect only minutes before. His job was to keep the spell going by feeding it every so often with something that connected him to Ruby to help her find her way back wherever she was in time. He chose the most obvious thing he had that connected them. Love itself. There was a spell to bottle it. Feeding it to the fire only had minimal consequences as long as the long was true and never ending. His wasn't conditional.

He covered his eyes when the bright light spread corner to corner in the room. He could see a figure emerge from the light as it died down and he stepped towards it to grab her frame securely against his. The light drowns out her voice until the frequency dies down more but he needn't hear it to know enough to offer her comfort. He welcomed her with an emotional kiss powered by everything he felt that week and soft relief.

Edited 2023-10-04 03:52 (UTC)

Ruby is glad that Sam had DJ, and she didn't ask him about his love life in general. It wasn't something she wanted to know about.

Of course, during their conversations, she had told him that if it didn't work, she would find him again. She will always find him. Even if his pain bothers her, she'd rather know what he's feeling and thinking. The smile helps assuage her guilt about leaving him alone. It helps her believe that he is hopeful for what comes next and they both need that.

"Hey, Puppy. I'm on the way home. Probably three hours out. Do you want me to stop and get takeout?" Ruby asks. She's got a low-grade headache and the last week is a blur, but she wants to be home with her boys as soon as possible.

_________

Melissa had been worried about Sam experiencing the side effects of the spell. She'd been worried that his love for Ruby was too new, too young, but Theo had been confident it would Sam would be okay. Melissa had made Theo promise to watch Sam closely and put an end to it if he started looking a bit weary. She had to focus on the rest of the spell.

Bright light obliterates the blackness and leaves her blinking even when it's gone. Before her vision even recovers, she's wrapped up in Sam's arms, in the way he smells, and the way he feels. She returns the kiss without hesitation, arms around his shoulders, hopping to wrap her legs around his waist. The kiss doesn't break until Sam is breathless. She finally opens her eyes and leans her forehead against his, still wrapped up in him. "You found me."

He looks around the bunker with the phone tucked between his shoulder and ear. "About that... I stopped by the bunker to grab something important." Part of him knows what he just did to send her past self back but it slowly feels more like a dream as the seconds go by. "Can I meet you halfway at our favorite pizza joint? I left DJ with my mom so he should be alright." The choice is hers. He can just as well drive six hours back.
_________

He wouldn't have been able to do any of it without his parents' help. Though Theo was correct about Sam being alright. His love for Ruby spanned two lifetimes. The real danger would have been using his memories as a couple to hold up the spell as it was too new, barely a blip in time. He never would have been able to handle all aspects of the spell alone without consequences either.

It's easier to see her blonde hair, her black eyes, her soft skin as his vision adjusts. He knows that it is her without all that. Wherever his hands might have been (he let them roam all over her in a mostly respectful, PG-13 way considering his parents were in the room), they caught her rear when her legs wrapped around him. He's breathless rather quickly because they share a series of desperate kisses that relate to the passion of how much they missed each other. "It's been a week since you last called. I called my parents to help find you, too."

Ruby hesitates because that's not completely out of left field, but it is odd. She trusts he'll tell her what later. "Sounds like a date. Everything okay, Sam?" The fuzzy, world-tilted feeling that she's experiencing only adds to her concern.

---

Melissa worries about Sam. It's part of being his mother; she will always worry about him. It's no small relief when Sam seems to be normal as the spell completes. In the middle of the stress, she hadn't considered that Sam and Ruby's love spanned two lifetimes (and a couple of centuries). She still doesn't think of Sam that way. He's her baby and not a reincarnated soul.

The reunion (thus far) is reasonably PG-13. Ruby's hands thread into Sam's hair and stay there despite not realizing Melissa and Theo were there. She missed him. She was scared she'd miss thirty years of his life. She was afraid she'd never see Sam at this age again. All of that bleeds into the desperate kisses. When Sam mentions his parents, she unwraps her legs, sliding down his body to put her feet on the ground. She pulls back a little, looking to Theo and Melissa. "Thank you. I had only hoped he'd call you two."

Melissa nods her welcome and Theo reaches over to take Melissa's hand. "Darling, why don't we go grab some dinner? We'll bring Sam and Ruby something back. I know Sam hasn't eaten much and he's probably starving."

Ruby smiles at Theo. She's very aware what he's doing; he's always been better about accepting this part of Sam's life than Melissa. "That'd be great."

Melissa and Theo leave with some vague mentions of bringing back food. Theo pats her on the back and says he's glad she's back. Melissa squeezes her shoulder then Ruby and Sam are alone again.

There is nothing that he would keep from her. He will tell her what he remembers later. (Though the timeline at that point might have shifted enough to cause him to believe that past Ruby had stayed in his office the whole time and they weren't intimate. DJ was always their son.) More than likely they both will be met with headaches in trying to remember. "I think so. I'm talking to you, aren't I? I finished what I needed to do here." That much he is certain of.

He hadn't lost his ability to love if that's what Melissa was concerned about. Sometimes he doesn't realize that he stresses out his mother and he doesn't mean to. Some things never do change as far as he's concerned about Ruby being apart of his life. He definitely thrives in this life because Melissa is not just his mother but a wonderful one.

Calling attention to his parents hadn't been the wrong move, but he sure wished that they were somehow alone. His hands slide up her backside, careful to help her back on her feet. His fingers brush through her hair once his hands are free to do something new. Maybe it's because this isn't the first time that they've been caught in an awkward position or it's because it's hard to care about anything else other than that Ruby is back that he feels embarrassed very little if at all by the display.

He gives a look of gratitude when Theo suggests food and Melissa goes with him. He had been denying his hunger in favor of searching for Ruby all week. As they leave, his stomach rumbles and a part of them hopes they won't be too long (but long enough to give Ruby the attention she deserves).

He turns back to Ruby when they're alone. "Are you alright? Where did you go? I should have gone with you. Take me with you next time, Ruby, because I don't know what'd I do if- if..." He can't finish that sentence. In no universe should Ruby be dead.

She'll remember more than he will because it's still the same version of her, but her memories are thirty years old, and she's been human for a few of those years. They'll be a little fuzzy. She definitely may not remember that DJ was once someone else's. "Okay. Be careful. I'll see you in a few hours."

The rest of Ruby's drive goes by quickly. She's very in her own head sorting out her memories and as they become a bit clearer, she suspects Sam is as well. She pulls into the parking lot to find Sam is already there and standing by his car. She gets out of her own vehicle and saunters up to him. "Looking for a date, Hot Stuff?"

That's one of the things Melissa was concerned about. She was also concerned about him burning out emotionally as well. However, all of his emotions seem to be intact so her concern was for naught.

They'll be alone soon as Theo recognizes that need (Melissa is too worried mother to recognize it). It isn't the first time they've been caught in an awkward position by Melissa and Theo, but even if it were, Ruby would find it hard to care.

Maybe Ruby should suggest they find Sam something to eat in the kitchen, but touching him seems far more important. "Shhhh," she murmurs and leans in to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm okay. You found me." She pauses, smiling softly. "After I found you. I was thirty years in the future. The first thing I did was find you." She'd had a pretty decent idea of where to start. She knew her will had left the penthouse and the house in Sioux Falls to Sam. When she'd figured out the penthouse was being rented by someone else, she'd headed to the Sioux Falls house.

He smiles on his end of the phone. "I will, if you will. I'll be thinking about you every second."

It does come back to him during his drive but with the details that properly shifted and fit in the timeline. He waited for her outside as it would be considered rude not to wait. He meets her half way, his hands at the sides of her waist, pulling his own hips forward. "Not just any old date. You."

"Can I interest you in a hot dinner?" Part of the reason he waited outside was to hold the restaurant door open for her.

It certainly goes without saying that Sam has a good relationship with her for exactly the reason that Melissa is concerned about his wellbeing. Between two lifetimes, he always wanted a mother to bond with and he had that now.

Theo has always been more ready to let their boy fly from the nest. Besides Theo recognizes after the week they've had, he desires some time with his lovely wife alone. Things will be fine leaving Sam to talk to Ruby for a while (even if it's more physical than actual talking).

There will be food along shortly. Theo might want time alone with Melissa but not at the expense of their son. Sam stops his babble at the soft shush of Ruby. He opens his ears as well as leans into a passionate return of his lips on hers. It takes him a minute to process where she was and let the surprise ebb so he could think and talk clearly. "Thirty years... That's so far away. I can't imagine the look on my face if... if I never saw you for thirty years and one day you appeared on my doorstep." He combs his fingers through her hair to have something other than biting his nails to fidget with. He couldn't imagine losing her that long and not being a wreck. The last week had felt like torture already.

Ruby goes up on tiptoes (she's much more likely to wear flat shoes these days) and presses a kiss to his lips. "I certainly hope you're not making dates with other women," she teases him as they start into the restaurant.

"As long as it leads to a hot date," she winks at him. Of course, she's ordering a cheeseburger and fries. She might be human, but her tastes haven't changed over the years.

When Ruby was looking for parents for Sam, one of the things she wanted was someone who wanted to be a mother with her whole heart and soul. Ruby knew from the first meeting with Melissa that she was that person.

Theo looks at everything a little more big picture. He realizes that part of their job as parents is to prepare Sam so that he's able to fly from the nest successfully. He also realizes that both physical and verbal conversations are important.

Ruby can't help but smile at Sam's reaction to knowing she met him thirty years in the future. "You were very happy to see me. Also pretty shocked. You weren't sure it was real at first." While she wouldn't have called future Sam a wreck, she wouldn't call him happy either. "I couldn't have gotten back here without both of you. He had the letter you'd written to me telling me where to go and when."

He hunches down to meet her half way while at the same time pressing his hand against the small of her back to support her tiptoes. "What other woman would there be other than you?" Teasing or no, no amount of joking would ever get him to say there could be someone else. There just isn't.

"On a scale of one to ten: how hot should it get?" He holds her hand once inside even if it's for the brief walk to the booth in the back where he knows Ruby prefers most. He can't pull out a chair where she slides in, but he can still be polite by taking off his jacket and setting it on the seat to keep her clothes clean.

Absolutely. Melissa would die for her rainbow reincarnated demon deal baby boy without a second thought. She only had a few reservations in the beginning if the deal was the right thing for starting a family, but Theo had quickly eased her nerves as he pointed out that the deal was iron clad in their favor in most of the terms.

Sam gets a bit of Theodore's sensibilities, which is a gift. He realizes exactly why his parents are going and coming back and is thankful to have a moment to breathe with Ruby in his proximity again.

He tries to picture what that might have looked like but at the same time his head can't bring itself to wrap itself around it. He settles on accepting it at face value as she describes it. "I'm still not sure you're real right now. Can I have another kiss to make sure?" His brain is catching up, but he is being a little cheeky. His hands slowly slide up the fabric over her arms and touch her face. His fingers touch her hair and play the strands as he half inspects the color. All of his ability to touch her suggests it's real, which helps ease his nervous system that's been awreck all week. "Honestly, I didn't know if my letter would reach you. I'm glad it did."

"Good answer," she tells him. She does like the back booth. It's quiet and she can see the entire restaurant from there. His chivalry is appreciated and shows in her smile and how her hand brushes his shoulder or wrist. "At least an 11," she tells him with a purr. After all, they haven't seen each other in a week, give or take 30 years.

It had been a good deal for them. Most of what Ruby wanted from them had been nothing more than what they'd allow other family members or close friends, both of which Ruby would become in time.

He has an old soul, but he's still parts and pieces of Theo and Melissa. He is their son and, in some ways, very like Theo.

She smiles at his words, leaning in to press another kiss against his lips; letting it linger, sweet and soft. "You'd opened it when one of the hunters here had first given it to you, but it hadn't made any sense. You kept it because it was directed to me."

"There is no answer other than you, babe." He knew she would. He sits back facing the exit so she can be forward facing. His smile fills relief being able to look upon her rather than dream of getting her back. "I can do you one better and give you a 12." He leans across the table and slides his fingers across the top of her hand. In this reality she never went missing but the raw feeling that his life without her these past hours have been real.

It wasn't a bad deal. The Smith family had only needed the early years with thr pregnancy and baby Sam to really adjust to the idea. Eighteen years later and some change Ruby seems like she had always been family.

He melts into the kiss and for a long time isn't ready to back away either. He doesn't look as surprised by her second revelation. "That sounds like something I'd do. It was hard without you here the last week."

"Just when I think you can't get hotter," she says in response to his 'answer'. She flips her hand beneath his so that she can glide her fingertips against the palm of his hand, down to his wrist, and back up. She hums a little. "Are you trying to tempt me to get our food to go?" she teases him. In reality (this reality), she was only gone a few days on business, but that same raw feeling of absence tugs at her.

He doesn't have to back away. They don't have to stop touching at all, not for a long time. She leans against him, her forehead resting against his as they talk, her hands running over his shoulders and chest. "I'll try to never stay away that long again," she promises, though they both know that the time wasn't the difficult part (though it wasn't easy); it had been that uncertainty that she'd return that had been difficult. She runs her hands through his hair, watching him with green eyes.

"Do you want to take your food to go?" He teases in turn, but an idea pops in his head just then. "There's a hotel down the road if we want to move things there. "You're looking more beautiful than I remember as always." The moment she fingers across his palm, he leans over closer to her. Her little hum sounds like music. He can't pinpoint why it feels like decades since he's seen her rather than days but it's good she's back.

He feels validated by her when her actions also mirror his not to stray away. He relaxes when her forehead pressed against his, at the same time resting against her and running his fingers along her backside. She's real, he tells himself. She's not going anywhere. Though his fist closes around some of the fabric of her shirt to be sure that she can't vanish without a trace again. "No, yeah. Next time I think I should go with you." They both know she doesn't need the protection, but he needs to know that she isn't going to end up against something like that alone again. If she had to get stuck in time again, at least they could be together. His green eyes pierced hers with the desire to stay together.

"Dr. Winchester, when have I ever argued about dinner in bed with you?" She asks with that same lilting, flirty tone to her voice. She's got a similar feeling, though she does remember enough to know why he feels that way. "I can pick up some wine if you go get the room."

As his hands make their journey, she sways closer to him so that their bodies are touching from forehead all the way to knees. She nods a little to his proposal. "Next time I'm going out of town, I'll take you with me. We're going to have to work on your hunting skills though," she warns him. She can't take him if she doesn't have some confidence in his ability.

He squeezes her hand and scoots to the edge of his seat. "Mrs. Ruby Winchester I don't remember a time where we ever argued." Funny how time catches up or mends faster for some rather than others. Of course he'd rather forget that he spent thirty years lost and without her. It does help his anxiety as to where DJ would have landed in the universe by being fortunate to recall his son, their son is part of their world.

Naturally, his head tilts down to watch how close their bodies get to one another and fills in any gaps between them by gravitating closer. Her approval of his proposal means the world. He might not be ready yet but it allows him to know that she thinks he could be with some work. "Yeah, I think I'm ready to learn more so I'm not a burden or incapable of doing anything if all there is left is me. I already got the tattoo."

Of course, they've argued, but they have never argued much. Honestly, she can't remember the last thing they'd argued about, but she'd bet money it had revolved around DJ and her being too permissive. The waitress comes to check on them and Ruby asks if they can get the check and their food to go. "I need to have sex with this man right now more than I need to eat," she offers, winking at Sam.

Being this close to him brings a sense of overwhelming 'rightness' to her. "You've never been a burden, Sam. Myself and your parents didn't want you to be a part of this life until you could choose for yourself." She tilts her head up and presses a kiss to his mouth. "And if you don't want to earn how to hunt, I will protect you. Always."

It likely had to do with DJ's diet and being part human, but even that wasn't something for him to ever feel he needs to blow up at her for. Neither of them were ever wrong in their opinion. They got better with compromise only in time. The waitress has heard it all and doesn't bat an eye. Sam, however, never could not react when Ruby is so forward. He craned his neck almost embarrassedly towards the window but only to do his best to hide the smile from prying eyes. "Please just bring us the to-go box as the least we can do is pack up the food ourselves." His eyes smile back at Ruby when he turns back to her, head swaying but positively in agreement with her.

He definitely feels that way as well with a simple understanding of how thirty years or more would break him. He lets his hands wander, not yet able to stop making sure she's real. His hands brush over her arms, touch her waist, pull at the fabric of her shirt. He never had as many doubts that he was cut out to be in her life until situations where he was out of his depth like this one cropped up. "I...I think I needed to hear you say that. But I still feel like my job is to make sure we're equals. I don't want to feel useless all the time." He almost felt hopeless but that is another discussion.

Sam's reaction is the whole reason she says it, but Ruby has never had much of a filter anyway. He doesn't disappoint her with that smile. Once the waitress brings the food and the boxes, they get things packed up. Ruby lets Sam take care of the check. "I'll follow you to the hotel," she tells him as she slides out of the booth, to-go box in hand.

Ruby leans in to press her lips against his, keeping the kiss short. "Then we'll make sure you know how to hunt," she reassures him. When she kisses him again, the kiss is a little longer.

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I gotta go back in time | Life 2

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