peaceonearth | My wings are frayed

She guessed right. Sam had gone out to get her new clothes and clean underwear to make her more comfortable. Maybe it had also been for himself because Lilith had her in clothing that just made him more uncomfortable in retrospect. He had tossed and burned anything left behind in the Impala. So, he owed her that much. The space...was just about giving her time to recover. Hell seemed like a pretty big ordeal, but prison in hell at one of the lowest levels seemed bigger. She could tell him that he's giving her too much space.

In time, it doesn't matter because he doesn't need space between them either. He gave her a knock before he entered the room. It still seems like he has permission to look at her body, but he tries to focus on her straight.

"Sure. Could just be because I remember it."

No. This is not the best opening conversation either.

"How are you feeling?" As a human, maybe. He's hear to listen.

It would have made her uncomfortable too. She can still feel the crawling, creeping, stinging, pain of having Lilith in her skin with her (she'd forced her out and back to Hell moments after that). Hell is a huge ordeal, but she's coping for the moment. She will tell him that in her own way. Hopefully, he still remembers how to read her.

She wouldn't have invited him in so quickly if he didn't. He saved her body. That's a big deal to her (she likes this body). She notices the way he focuses (for the most part) on her eyes.

A smile quirks at the corners of her lips when he says he remembered her bra size. That's hopeful enough for her for the moment.

She hesitates inhales then exhales with a soft shrug, finishing buttoning up his shirt before she answers. It's a stalling tactic because she's not certain how she feels right now, which is why she skips over the emotion part of his question. "I'm loud. My heart. My breathing. It's all loud."

It's been a year and a half since he's seen her, not ten; of course, he can still read her when she doesn't bury it deep. Lilith, Hell... He has Lucifer and the cage to compare it to so he can understand it a little. Time is factor in healing. Also it's not. So whatever she tells him in words or actions, he'll be there to listen.

He had help. Dean had a big hand in saving her body by agreeing to fill the trunk up with ice. That's something he'll tell her eventually. For now, the biggest thing is giving her the space to adjust, making sure she doesn't need anything.

He smiles back and ducks his head when she looks pleased with him remembering that simple detail. He can't find it in himself to believe that she forgot their shopping trips together. At least a dozen times, he got her bras to try on at her request. He could think of how he also knew her underwear preferences from that experience too.

This is the first time Sam has seen her breathe so he barely notices anything else until she speaks. If it was a stalling tactic, it goes unnoticed. Loud breathing, heart beating, that's all a good sign. "You'll get used to it," he assures her. He does notice the lack of clarification to how she feels, but he understands that she may not be able to describe them yet and won't press. "You look good in that," he compliments the choice she choose to dress in. He likes his shirt on her. "There's a belt in my bag under the bed."

She can't say she likes being indebted to Dean, but she will be grateful that Dean helped, even if he was only doing it for Sam. It makes her feel a little fizzy and warm that Sam wants to be there to listen, to help her adjust.

No, she hasn't forgotten. That he hasn't forgotten is the source of her surprise. It was only a year and a half to him. It was much longer to her, but then he knows that too (she's never been terribly shy or modest; its underwear, most people wear it).

It's something for the both of them to get used to. Her brows go up at his compliment and offer. Who needs pants when this gets his attention this way. She moves to the bed and goes down on her knees to drag the bag out, digging through it while watching him out of the corner of her eye. She finds the belt and buckles it. It hangs low on her hips rather than her waist, but she looks to Sam for approval. Was this what he had in mind? Her stomach takes that moment to rumble. "Tell me you've got fries, Puppy."

Sam can't promise her that Dean won't ask for a favor in return for helping save her in the future, but he can be certain that it wouldn't be anything she wouldn't be able to do anyway. She can trust that he has her back always. Whatever she needs.

She could talk about her time in hell if she wanted. He hasn't had the time to sit down and do the math for exactly how long she was away, but, yes, he is aware is was too damn long. It's nice to see that she hadn't much.

What can he say? He has no problem with her wearing his shirt but she pulls it off best with a belt. She'll find exactly what you'd expect in Sam Winchester's bag: a few change of clothes, holy water, flavored water, the belt, and two king sized chocolate bars to escape his brother's notice. If she's hoping for a reaction, she gets one; his head tilts to watch her go through his bag then his gaze falls to her hips to watch her buckle the belt. Maybe it's a little of his imagination but it comes across as provocative. He sighs, exhales, thinking that's more than he had in mind. Her stomach couldn't have held it together for one more minute? But he had figured something like that would come out of her mouth eventually, so he answers with a chuckle. "No, but come on. I'll buy you some at the dinner."

In that case, Ruby will do what she can. She'll like not being indebted to him any longer in any case.

No one needs to sit down and do the math. Ruby is tough and she survived a lot longer in Hell once before. Once she sleeps, there will be nightmares and she may lose it a little then. For the moment, she's coping by moving forward.

The chocolate makes her smile and the holy water makes her curious. After all, she's not a demon anymore, just a human with a very twisted soul. Would the holy water affect her in any way? (no). Oh no, it's not his imagination. She's just not sure where they stand. She's very aware that Lilith was messing with him because she couldn't wait to give Ruby that regular update. She hesitates at the offer then nods. "We could bring them back here?" Because she's not sure she wants to deal with a diner full of people and making chit-chat with the waitress. She'd rather just make chit-chat with Sam.

Well, he does. It's just always been who he is to gather all the data before he reacts. Knowing how long Ruby was in Hell would just be his way of knowing how to help her.

The holy water isn't for her. It's more of a precaution. He can't read her thoughts from behind her so he can't assure her that anything in the bag isn't there because of her. However, he would not think the water would not affect her. She's as human as he is. He's not sure where they stand either. He needs time to figure out it is not his imagination. Lilith did a good job pretending to be her that he still place what had been Ruby and what had been Lilith. He understands her hesitation and makes note of it. "Right back here." But she will come with him, right? He turns to the door, eyes focused back on her to invite her to walk beside him.

Oh, Sam. As long as he remembers, he did get her out. Sooner rather than later too.

He doesn't have to figure anything out yet. She's not expecting anything from him except fries, apparently. She'll also be happy to assure him that she is not Lilith. In fact, any questions he's got for her will probably distract her from thinking too much about what it means to be back and human. She won't have any problem telling him that the last thing she remembers on Earth is getting locked in that devil's trap and having Dean steal her knife. She will definitely come with him and she takes the invitation to walk beside him through the bunker to the Impala. She does hesitate ever so slightly before getting into the front seat.

She waits until they're moving to ask Sam "what did you give Crowley for me?"

She knows him, right. It's bound to be between sooner and later.

No. He doesn't. But his mind doesn't stop working just because he has a time. Fortunately, getting her fries is a thing to focus on. Her behaviour thus far doesn't seem to suggest she was broken or cracked down there. While they're walking down the halls to the impala though he casts a couple looks to her wondering where to start. He hasn't exactly had a normal conversation with her in...some time. His deal with Crowley is a complicated one.

"How much time do you have?" he exhales a sigh, rubs the back of his neck with a pained expression. "I-- Dean and I agreed to let him be for ten years under certain circumstances. For starters, neither of us are welcome in Hell."

She does.

Ruby doesn't break easily. However, once she slows down a little it might catch up with her. They'll both figure out that she's going to have nightmares soon enough. For the moment, she's okay. He's helping by distracting her. Maybe they should start with small talk, but she's not good at that either.

"I'm human now so...sixty years?" she suggests. Her brow furrows at his explanation. "That's not a bad thing," she starts. "You were really specific, right?"

Sam doesn't doubt she is strong. But his time in Hell had affected him too. The fact that there is a wall in his mind keeping him from remembering the scars Lucifer made on his soul doesn't change the fact that he has nightmares about the potential ways in which he was tortured. In fact, it makes him feel more connected and sensitive to Ruby who can remember every detail. He can do distractions. Talking at length about stuff is likely a speciality of his too.

He chuckles because how could he forget. He is glad to have her here and human. "More than enough time," he concedes. "We don't know what he plans to do with Hell, but that's a given. The whole deal took a week to ratify. My brother and I made sure Crowley, or any other demons for that matter, won't be allowed to do as they please on Earth." He turns over his palm and holds it up so she can see the cut and burn there on his thumb that sealed the deal. The magic was old and he was aware there were consequences for either party if they broke the deal.

Ruby heard rumors about Sam in Hell, but she wasn't in a position to know if they were true. That connection will mean so much to her when she needs it. The distractions are appreciated as is the talking at length.

"Is it?" she asks, genuinely uncertain about that. "It doesn't seem like much time to me." She had been immortal and time had been nothing to her. Now, she's not sure how to handle the relative lack of it. She nods, glad that he took his time with the deal. He holds his palm out and she reaches out, her fingertips tracing the cut and the burn lightly. She knows what it means. Her eyes catch his. "You told him you'd leave him alone to do what he wanted in Hell." She's guessing, but given what he did say, she thinks it's a good guess.

If it is what she wanted, they could talk all night and tomorrow. There's no guarantees that they won't move on tomorrow and Dean will be joining them.

He confirms it is with a nod, a flash of sadness a cross his eyes. "It was more time away from you." He can't be upset that she views time differently than does, but his desire to get her back sooner rather than later at the time really affected him. Maybe that's why some aspects of the deal aren't thought as thoroughly as others. Oops? Crowley can't do anything topside without breaking it though. It stings when Ruby traces over the cut, but Sam holds back a wince, twitching only his fingers. "That was the deal. And I... I never thought I would see you again, so it was worth it. I'm not worried about him." Not more than he is worried about her.

While he still has the chance, he closes his palm around her and guides her to sit on the bed. He reaches for the remote and holds it up tentatively, suggesting they can watch TV, talk, or both at the same time.

She'll take advantage of the time she's got alone with Sam then. Of course, she'll be a little nervous about having Dean join them, but Sam has made it pretty clear with everything he's said thus far that Dean was in on the effort to get her out of Hell.

She softens at his words and swallows past a well of emotion and gratitude in her throat. Part of her wants to bury herself against his chest and never move again. The other, more practical, part of her knows that's not possible. When she finally speaks, her voice is husky and quiet. "I didn't think I'd ever been seen again," she tells him. It's the closest she can come to telling him how much she wanted to see him again. She'd learned a long time ago that to survive in Hell you had to have something to hold onto. Sam had been her something. "If he screws up, I'll help you figure out how to fix it."

She allows him to lead her to the bed, nodding at his silent suggestion. Once he's settled, she doesn't hesitate to curl up underneath his arm against his body. Actual tears prick her eyes (a new, human sensation for her) and she closes her eyes and turns her face into him, pressing her nose against him as she takes a deep breath. "I can't smell you as well," she says, her voice breaking ever so slightly at the end.

They have at least the next seven hours together before that happens. If there was anything else he could change for her to be more comfortable, he would. He can promise her that Dean won't bother her. The two of them have already agreed that Ruby is his to watch.

His mouth opens but he can think of anything to right away because the range of emotions from her catch him off guard. He can read the gratitude from her a little, but the rest just hits as the reason why he missed her so much. It was the same soft look on her face then too. Every day, he could remember every so often when he would catch her looking at him with that face. Just like then, he didn't want to look away and smiled while rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm glad we're both wrong," he finally manages to think of what to say, meaning it. She doesn't have to be closer than that with what she wants to say because he understands her enough for both of them. Ruby wouldn't have been his mission if he didn't know she felt even half the same way he did.

Sam passes and allows her to hog more of the blanket because of the thing Crowley said about it taking time for her to adjust. He pulls Ruby closer under his arm when she curls up next to him and rests his cheek against her head as a hug for a moment, at the same time allowing her to press herself into him, the first time he's been happy in a while and all because he finally had her back and to himself. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm guessing that is a side effect. Don't focus on what you can't smell, focus on what you can," he tells her softly, his hand rubs her shoulder.

Good. She just needs some time to adjust and acclimate. It's a lot all at once. In any other situation, she might insist she doesn't need a babysitter. As it is, she'd rather not be alone. It's a bonus that Sam is her babysitter.

It's okay. Ruby gets overwhelmed and doesn' t know the right way to respond to verbal confessions of emotion anyway. For a little while, she'd been able to hide those soft expressions from him, but then she'd stopped trying. There was no reason for it. When he does speak, he manages to hit exactly the right note: not overwhelming but more than enough to make her glad she told him that she was glad to be back. She feels far more for him than she's ever felt for anyone else, far more than she can explain and far more than she thought possible. That he made her his mission, tells her that he feels the same way (though she'd known he'd cared before; she just hadn't been aware he cared enough to rescue her after all this time).

She's always been a bit of a blanket hog. The weight of him head resting against hers, of his body against hers is comforting and relaxing. It's everything she needs but doesn't know how to express. It's a wonderful thing that he doesn't think her sniffing him is weird. She did it before, but she could be a lot more subtle about it. After a moment, she speaks and her voice is less choked with emotion. All of that emotion is still there, she's just managed to get control of it. "Soap...gunpowder, Leather and sweat and...you and nothing like Hell." She pauses a moment then looks up at him. "Eau de Sam. I could bottle it, but I'd rather not share."

Maybe she shouldn't consider him a babysitter rather than someone whom wants to be close to her after all these years. The way he sees it, their relationship is a little more than a friendship. Until she acclimated though he won't dare try to put a label on it or ask what this is. It's enough that she wants him to keep her company. She has him wrapped around her finger, always.

He can never forget how she is a blanket thief. Never forget that she isn't one for words either. However, her actions do speak louder than words and the lack of subtly in her sniffing him couldn't be more of a reminder of everything else she's done in the past to show him just how she feels. On the contrary, he could sit there all night and let her smell him. It wouldn't feel any different than the times they sat too closely in a booth while every so often she ran her hand in his hair or stole a fry. "That tells you what?" he asks her, checking just to be sure that she knows reality from dissociation. As always, she has a way of bringing a smile to his face. "You could bottle it. But I'm not sure I'd want to be known for gunpowder and sweat most of all."

He's right; it's much more pleasant to think of him as someone who wants to be close to her. It was a little more than friendship. Now, Ruby isn't sure what it is, but feels like a lot more than friendship. He made a deal with the King of Hell for her. She doesn't know what that makes their relationship. She wants him to keep her company. She wants him close enough to touch.

It'll be a relief that he doesn't expect her to act more like a normal human just because she is human now. She might hold him to that because right now, there's nothing that immediately comes to mind that's better than sitting curled up with him this way. Though as she gets a little more comfortable, her hands may stray into his hair (it's longer than she remembers and she likes it). She takes a deep breath at his question. "This isn't an illusion to torture me or a hallucination based coping mechanism." She shakes her head at his protest. "Oh, Puppy. It's a good smell. Otherwise I wouldn't have my nose buried against you," she assures him. "Every person smells different. Even if they're all covered in the same scent, their basic scent is unique. You smell like...you and I like it." She pauses a moment, eyes narrowing a little. "You didn't sell your soul, did you?"

They have time to figure out what it is. Thankfully, there's more time than just tonight for the two of them to figure it out. The way things are going, though, it's pretty clear that time hasn't stolen everything away from them. So long as she doesn't ask him to leave, he'll stay close enough to touch and urgently willing to keep her company.

To a certain extent, Sam knows he will need to show her how to function around people. However, he would rather she stay the same person she is now and/or was. Ruby is perfect just the way she is. No one else need to understand why he loves that or what he sees in her. It just is. If she were to ask, he probably couldn't think of a better way for them to spend the time right now either. Her nails are long just like he remembers. When they lightly scratch the base of his neck, he can't control the look in his eye. He's like a dog being given a belly scratch and the look he has is surprise even a little desire. He doesn't know what she's thinking. He doesn't even know the way to read it. (He did think about cutting it before he saw her, but he likes it just the length it is now.)

Good. It's really good she can tell what is real and what is fake this soon. Sam can't imagine the torture she went through because he wasn't there. He can help because he has experience all his own though. "You're right. It's not. You want to make up a way to tell if it's still real, just tell me. We can come up with one together." He continues to speak in a soft voice. The logic behind his smell seems to be incontestable when she puts it that way. "So, tell me what my base smell is." Part of him is curious, the other reason is that he wants to keep her talking like this. She is doing so good. Her voice hasn't changed a bit.

He pauses to think back on the deal when it was being discussed. First, his soul and twenty years had been on the table. Dean wouldn't have that.

Sam shakes his head to assure Ruby. "No. My soul isn't part of the deal." His soul isn't part of the deal. Those were the words Dean used too. "There was never even a chance of that."

She won't ask him to leave. In fact, he's in danger of having a full-time shadow.

She'll never be much of a people person or good with social cues, but she will adapt. Maybe it'll help that she's actually human now. It's endearing and makes her feel more for Sam that he wants her to stay the same person she is. That's a good look on him and it's a look she remembers from running her hand through his hair before. The amount of time she spends with her hands in his hair might clue him in on how much she likes it long.

It'll be harder when she's woken up from a nightmare. Crowley had told her that she was being let out of Hell because of a deal the Winchesters had made. She'll have moments when she doesn't know what is reality, but right now isn't one of those times. "Like a code word?" she asks curiosity in her voice and expression. She has to consider his question carefully for a moment. "It's warm and soft. Leather, flannel, and books. It's a smell you can curl up in."

Good for Dean. Ruby wouldn't have been happy if his soul had been part of the deal.

She nods a little. "Okay. Good." She ducks her head and lays her head on his chst again.

She wouldn't be the worst shadow he's ever had follow him. In fact, she would be the best case scenario.

If Cas can somehow do it after ~~ten~~ so many years, so can she. Fortunately they have all the time in the world and she will have his help every step of the way. He didn't have as much hair for her to run her hands through back then but he is already catching on to how much she seems to like it. It's been a while since anybody's even given him a clue so the fact he gets it from her is meaningful and more.

It doesn't matter if it'll be harder. God knows how many times Sam has woken up in a cold sweat from nightmares that felt real and could have just as well been. Should she have an episode, he will be the first one at her side. "Exactly like that. What's the first thing you think of that only I would know? It can be anything," he assures as well as guides her to think. It has to come from her. So he smells pretty much like a library. He can take a compliment when he gets one. "Thank you. I appreciate you saying that, but is that what we're doing? Curling up. I mean, I'm not against it..." The signals need to be clearer, just a little.

Had there been no other choice, his soul would have been on the table. Good thing there were two heads on the side of getting Ruby back.

Sam makes things a little more comfortable for the two of them by resting against the headboard. "Any other questions?" For her he's as open as a book.

That's lucky for both of them then. Consider him shadowed in the best case way. She'll probably grow more independent, but for a little while, she will stick very close.

Oh good. She just needs a while. Oh, Sam. That'll just endear him to her even more. It hasn't occurred to her that he could have a girlfriend or even a steady hook-up. It probably should though.

At least neither of them has to be alone with the nightmares anymore. She'll return the favor. Though, heaven help if they have a nightmare at the same time. They're liable to hurt each other before they realize it's real. "I wrote my number on your hand the first time I actually met you." She doesn't have to think about it. Of course, she'd met him once before and saved him from Pride, but they hadn't had a chance to talk.

He smells pretty much like a library which happens to be one of her favorite sorts of places. His question surprises her a little, but it also makes the corners of her lips curl up in a cat ate the canary sort of smile. She pulls back a bit to get a better look at him, one hand going up to glide her fingertips against the slight scruff of a five'o clock shadow (he didn't have much of one of those when she met him) before she slides her hand back to play with his hair a bit. "You didn't find a nice girl to settle down with after I went away?" It seems like something she needs clarified before they go any further.

She'll remember to thank Dean sometime with a giant basket of fries and a donut burger.

Open books are her favorite kind.

There's no one out there that has worked out or disappeared when he tried to give them his number. There's no one he can consider a steady hook up either, no way he wouldn't ruin it by wanting more or thinking he wasn't worthy at the time. If there were a girlfriend in the picture, he would have told her already.

It would not be ideal if both of them hurt each other because the only other alternative would be sleeping in separate rooms. Sam doesn't want that. He's sure Ruby doesn't either. It took some convincing just to get Dean to leave them alone for now. "You did. 219-555-0124." Yes, he remembers the numbers to this day. Anybody that has looked at each of his phones over the years will know he kept it on there. ~~He saved her, too.~~

She makes his heart race that much quicker when her lips quirk in that way that always suggests she's thinking something far from what they're actually talking about. He lets her look at him without moving, but at the same time his eyes glance over her curiously, as if he, too, is just remembering what she looks like. Nothing clearly has changed. Lots has for him, though. There's scars, some faint while others not so much. His hair. The five'o clock shadow was something he could barely grow one when she first met him. Her question gives him pause. "What? No. There's been... There has been a few, but it never worked out. I, uh, I couldn't give this up yet, and sometimes think I don't know if I can. It's never been the right time." If he has to be honest about the women, he he's going to be honest about it all.

Don't spoil Dean too much. If Sam sees another donut burger, it's already too soon.

Their loss and definitely her gain.

No, it wouldn't. They would both likely sleep worse for it as well. Ruby is actually a little surprised Dean left them alone. She'd be surprised if Dean were more than ten minutes away right now. Her expression is marked with surprise that he remembers the number. She'd be even more surprised that he'd saved it in his phones.~~, Yes he did, in more ways than one~~. "Think it's still available?" The number, she means.

She can't hear his heart race the way she once would have. She has to actually rely on his expression and his eyes. She had some help with the lack of change. She'd like to see the scars, to ask the stories behind them. The changes look good on him. He has aged very well. She's quiet for a moment as she glides her fingertips over the shell of his ear then slides the pad of her thumb over his eyebrow. Her voice is soft when she speaks. "What if I don't want you to give it up?" It's a loaded question.

She'll strive for the right amount of spoiling.

His too. Right now, they may not know what they are, but her companionship fills an emptiness in his soul.

They both would undoubtedly sleep worse for it. Sam tosses and turns when he is a sleep with a heavy mind. She's not wrong to assume Dean is no more than ten minutes away from here. Sam, however, might have helped things by convincing Dean it would help things if he could talk to Ruby alone. Her number may as well be the home address he never had. Her number was one of the first sets of numbers he ever had to memorize. "About that," he scratches his cheek. "It's one of the phones in the glove box."

His eyes typically give away more than they should anyway. He can't take them off of her either. There's time for that, maybe when he steps out of the shower later in nothing but a towel because for a second he forgets who he is with and where they stand or don't stand. There's much to talk about over time. He isn't sure what her touch above his eyebrow aims to do but he allows it, tilts his head slightly, watching her and for what she takes from it. His head pulls back a little in surprise, it's not a question he's ever allowed himself to think. Having a relationship and hunting at the same time. "What are you getting it?" It's going to take time to wrap his head it.

Beer is okay. Sam could handle Dean getting his hands on more or something that is more expensive than a buck per bottle.

She appreciates the time alone with Sam without feeling like she needs to look over her shoulder to see what Dean is thinking, planning or doing. It also speaks for Dean's trust in Sam as well as his willingness to give her a chance that he's willing to give them some time (even if he is close by). She arches one brow at his body language when he tells her about the number. "So I can have it back?" Though she's got no need for a phone right now. She knows exactly two people right now and she's only interested in talking to one of them.

They do, but she likes that about him. Please, Sam. Do forget. She'll appreciate his forgetfulness. She just wants to touch him right now and is feeling out the boundaries. "Your opinion on the viability of a relationship in your life. Call me curious. like the cat that didn't get killed. Meow."

It goes without saying that Sam wanted some time alone with her without big brother watching. Practically speaking, it was another phone when they couldn't afford to rotate them all the time. Her phone and the number may have also been a weird keepsake slash trophy. He nods with a huff of laughter. "Right, yeah. Of course you want it back. I will grab it for you later. It's yours." Most likely she find that he used it as his personal phone for a while due to his sentimentality. Also she will need it if she wants to keep in touch. He won't break the news to her now but he can't be together twenty-four/seven.

She can't expect his memory to be that short, but she knows just what it takes to shift his focus away from something by playing with his hair more. His facial expression stumbles in equal measure to the thoughts he tries to pull together to answer her. "Honestly, I ha- I don't see how work - saving people, hunting things - and family go together without something coming back to bite me in the ass. It's not fair to them." However, there's a little light and a smile in his eyes when she meows. Her curiosity spells out something and he has a sneaking suspicion that it has nothing to do with the girlfriends he left behind.

She likes that he kept her phone, whatever it was. "No hurry," she assures him. She'll be even more touched when she finds he used it as his personal phone. Sure, maybe it was just out of practicality, but she's going to see it as more of a choice. Eventually, she'll want that independence as well. Right now, she's content to live in the now.

A girl can hope, can't she? She likes him distracted and vulnerable, especially since they're talking about something serious. "It always will. It's a weakness that can and will be used against you," she admits. She leans in to press her lips lightly, briefly against his. Her voice drops to a whisper. "You do it anyway. We--we do it anyway. Because you're you and I'm not a demon anymore."

There may be no hurry but he promises her it is the first thing he will do tomorrow. He can't deny that her company right in the here and now is something he wants to go away too soon either. It's been a while since he's heard her voice in person. It's comforting like a big piece of him was found and returned to him.

He would only hope she can hope and learn to have dreams in her new life too. While he can't shake off the serious nature of their conversation, but Ruby does make multitasking more difficult. He stares at her for a few moments before he catches himself. "I don't want that," he agrees with her but his tone betrays him. He does want that and he always has wanted it more than anything. If it's not clear, it should be when his lips press against her, left to kiss air more than her lips by the time he reacts. Her whisper is hard to hear for a short time. "You're saying what I think you're saying?" It's pretty clear, but.

He tries to hide the smile, but it is crooked to one side. "I think there needs to be more of a plan." About the hunting. Not about the 'we' part.

It'll make her feel more secure about his wanting to keep in touch if she's got the phone and he knows her number; especially once things start to return to life as normal (for him).

That'll take time as well, but she'll get there. "I can take care of myself, Samuel." Even now as a human, though she'll have to learn her new limits. His not quite but almost kiss makes it fairly clear. Consent and the need to vocalize it is still a murky thing in her mind. "I told you in the very beginning I love a tall man." Is that more clear? Or less?

The crooked smile is nice, but his words make her furrow her brow a little. "There's supposed to be planning? I don't have any family for you to ask and I don't have any dowery to give. What are we planning?"

He wouldn't dream of leaving her on her own without a credit card either. In time, they will sort that out. But for now, they can talk out the smaller stuff.

It wouldn't feel right to make her have to take care of herself even though he is fully aware that she can do better than he can. His head shakes before he can stop himself. "I know you can, but I want to help." All she has to do is ask. Just as he will his best not to be over bearing. The waters are murky which is why he needs her to spell it out more clearly but she does have consent on his end. "I'm afraid that's not how it works. But I get the idea now."

His smile widens, head ducks with her misunderstanding the direction of his words. It is, however, much clearer. "Hunting, Ruby. Making it work with us and hunting. I didn't think we're talking about a wedding. There's not a day I have stopped loving you--" He pauses there because the emotions and his need to vocalize them are flooding out faster than he thought, then picks up. "listen, I just mean we need to talk about this more. Give you time to adjust. You're human now and you just got back. I want to help you wet your feet a little first." Little Mermaid reference, most definitely.

She's going to have to think about how to survive in this human world. She's got no idea how that works. Does she get a job? She's not even sure what she's qualified for. Witch for hire? She's not sure she wants that either. She'll figure it out eventually. Ruby is a survivor at the end of the day, but she'd rather not end back up in Hell at the end of her human life because of it.

She nods, agreeing to his help because it's clear she's going to need some. She leans back a little to look at him, a pout on her face. "Not how what works?" She has the distinct feeling she's being told no, but she's not sure what she's being denied.

That smile is almost enough to stimmy her embarrassment (almost). "Oh." Her cheeks flush with a very human blush, when he tells her that he was talking about hunting. It's on the tip of her tongue to protest the bit about a wedding but then he says he loves her and she grows very quiet and still. Her heart and her stomach and all those human bits and pieces are flipping-flopping and fixxing. It's a lot but in the best way. "Nerd," she whispers to him then leans in to kiss him again. "Me too," she says against his lips.

It wouldn't be the worst thing to do if she got a job and settled down away from monsters and demons that could recognize her. On the flip side, she could also hunt with the Winchesters and be their witch. She could be a Woman of Letters and stay at the bunker. Whatever she decides, Sam will help her navigate it. She won't be alone no matter what.

He can breathe a lot easier the minute she accepts his help and he even exhales with a sigh of relief because he thought she was going to be more head headed for some reason. Maybe the reason is that he's just jaded or they've been away from each other too long. Her pout looks cute on her, but he tries to hide any smile or look that would give it away. "A dowry is not how it works anymore. People date before they decide to get married," he clarifies. Of course he would still ask her parents if she had any around.

He's not trying to embarrass her, but it would look good on her the same way a pout does. He's quiet for a few moments while it sinks in for the both of them that he said he loves her (and he's sure she said it in 'I love a tall man' too). There's butterflies in his stomach and his head feels lighter. "Beautiful," he answers as any other response wouldn't fit then kisses her bottom lip. "I don't think. I could. stop," her tells between kisses. He means he could not stop loving her after all this time.

Really, Sam? It totally would be the worst thing. If he makes the offer to let her hunt with them and be their witch, she'll jump at that. She'd also like living in the bunker, though she doesn't realize it yet. She does appreciate that he won't leave her alone.

She usually is hard-headed, but refusing his help would only mean that she got to spend less time with him. The memory of Sam kept her (somewhat) sane while she was in Hell. She's pretty sure he can keep her sane here too. She gives him a skeptical look. "I thought it was all about getting drunk and hooking up?" Seriously though, her host's memories support that. Oh, Sam. The only person he has to ask is her.

Yeah. She's not entirely sure what the ramifications of that are, but it's a good thing, or at least she thinks it is. (She said it then and she confirmed it when she said me too). Sh winds her fingers lightly into his hair to keep him close, twisting and sliding a bit so that she's sitting in his lap. "Now, I'm starting to wonder if this is real," she confesses, her hands still on him, her forehead pressed against his.

What can he say? He would rather have her be out of harms way again. But at the same time, it wouldn't be hard for him to understand that normalcy doesn't suit her anymore than it does for him. It may be no time at all before he offers her the opportunity to work with them. He'd like having her around permanently and it's only a matter of time before he figures that out for himself.

True enough. But she wouldn't be rid of him as easily as that. It goes without saying that she is welcome to stay as long as she likes too. Sam is in no hurry to see her move on. This conversation is giving him whiplash on where all her logic is coming from, but she's not wrong per se. He softly shakes his head to that. "That's not always true. Some people want more of a connection." As in him. Should he be concerned where these ideas are coming from? He'd wine and dine her if he intended to ask, not sitting in bed with her on day one of their reunion. (She deserves more.)

He leans that much closer to her because she literally has him wrapped around her finger, his hands move to touch the sides of her face than settle on waist. He kicks himself a little bit. He can't fault her for thinking this isn't real when it's going fast. "You're right. We'll slow down-" He won't push her. Rowena gave him enough to know that Ruby might not believe that he is real.

Ruby is unlikely to be normal or fit into a 'normal' life ever. The monster in the closet can't be stuffed back inside. She doesn't realize it yet, but she would like to be around permanently as well.

Ruby's logic has always been a little skewed. She considers that and it occurs to her that Sam might be 'some people'. She ponders that while tracing shapes on his chest. "Is that why it never worked out?" The question is a little vague; she actually means why things didn't work out for him and all the other girls, but it could easily be construed as why she and Sam didn't work out. (he'll get a chance to show her).

Oops? She definitely likes it this way though. She shakes her head at his words. "No. I just meant that this is good."

There's no lack there of space for her to be a permanent fixture and Sam, too, will realize soon that normal won't be possible for her either. Then he will welcome her into their ranks.

Sam won't ever discount that her logic sometimes has it's points, just with this particular issue it's not reflective of himself. She's smart to pick up on that. His eyes turn to the shapes she traces on his skin but he offers her eye contact when he has an answer for her. "Yes. I think it's because I couldn't tell them about this part of my life or I couldn't have them part of mine or be part of theirs." It's not easy to admit that, but it's not news. It's not the first time he's thought it, just it's the first he's said it aloud. He's thought much less about why Ruby and him did not work out because she was taken from him. So he has no answer for her there.

There's a sense of doubt across his face when she makes it clear they're good. "You can tell me if it's too fast. There's no rush if you need to be sure this is real," he assures her.

"You had to lie about who you were," she nods slightly. Yeah, she understands that. It sucks. Her hands still against his chest. There was a lot going on at the time and yes, she was taken away from him. They weren't given a choice. Then. They'll just have to make the right ones now.

In response to that, she moves in closer, his mouth catching his. "Or you can just convince me it's real," she suggests, her hands going to the top button of his shirt.

His smile is half of one because she gets it. Not saying anything will always be the same as lying in his opinion. It has worn him down, sometimes before things even began. Ruby knows, though. Ruby gets it. There should have been a way to get her back sooner. There's a lot that has probably held him back on trying to figure out how to have something serious again. And there's something about this moment- them that unblocks that feeling somewhat.

He is terrible at this because the messages she's sending are mixed, and despite that, despite willing to go slow to convince her, he brings himself into the kiss so he won't lose her or it so soon. "Making sure you know this is real is all I want," he tells her, not stopping her from pulling the first button of his shirt open. He'll shrug it off by the last button and his hands slip underneath her shirt to help her with it.

She gets it. It runs in the same vein of not being able to ever be normal. Maybe there should have, but there wasn't and he'd gotten her out now before she'd lost her mind. He isn't catch up to Ruby, not in the sense that she ever thought about something serious with anyone but Sam, but in the sense that this is something that they might be able to have now. They've paid for it or earned it or maybe this is just the right time.

It's her that's terrible at this. She doesn't know how to send the right messages or even which message she wants to send. She leans into the kiss, pouring herself into it. Her fingers slip down the buttons and glide over his skin. She unbuckles the belt she's wearing to cinch the shirt (his shirt--her dress). her fingers go to the buttons on the shirt and start down them until she's sitting on his lap in her bra and underwear. "Don't disappear in the morning, okay?"

He's accepted it a long time ago. However, he could not have counted on Ruby coming back or the potential fit they could be together. They just might be able to now.

Then it's the two of them that are terrible this. As long as it's not too fast for her, as long as she isn't giving him a sign that screams no then there is to further reason to pause. He deepens the kiss with her leaned into it, sooner or later though pulls back to look at her, all of her, with deeper blue eyes. It's her lucky day because he's wearing the one shirt and his skin and all its wartime scraps on on display. She doesn't need his fingers in the way of removing the belt so he gives her the space, but he helps with the buttons from the button to top and sliding the fabric off her shoulders and off her arms. His hands rest back on her hips, urging her closer so there's no space between them. "Where would I want to be other than here?" he asks her. He can see she needs to hear an definitive answer so he adds one. "I won't."

As long as he's terrible at it too (but she doesn't think he is). There's not a single molecule in her body that's saying no. Even if this were all some trick, some reprieve from torment, she still wouldn't say no. She'd just understand that it was going to hurt more later and this is worth it. She may never let him wear a shirt again when it's just the two of them. His skin is hot against hers and the press of his body makes her breathless. She's a little dazed by all of him so it takes her a moment to process his words. Yes, she needed to hear a definitive answer.

"I'm holding you to that," she whispers against his lips then lets her hands drop the waist of his jeans, moving to the side and nudging him to stand up. "One of us is wearing too many clothes."

He is too (it's almost guaranteed). Thankfully it is not a trick, it'd be too cruel of a concern to even voice to her. She won't have to hurt later because he will still be there. Honestly, more than likely he will be checking in with her to see if she will be okay if he steps out for any reason or length of time. He will agree to being shirtless when they're together under one condition: it remains inside. Opposite to his, her skin is cool to the touch and the parts that touch his skin cool down some of what feels like steam coming off his. He can admit she has him in awe of her so she can take all the time she needs.

"Is there anything you would like to eat in the morning?" he asks, not changing the subject, but perhaps trying to cement that she can be sure he will stick around. Considering the position both of them are in, he's well aware there's too much clothing between them. Her attention on him is just making him feel hotter. Her nudge prompts him to move his hands from her waist and push himself up to stand at the edge of the bed. He won't interfere with her hands on his buckle but he will deliberately look at her.

Checking in is good. It's something she'll need early on and appreciate later when she's more confident and independent. She'll return the favor when she starts going out and about. She can agree to that condition. It certainly works in her favor. They fit together, the way her skin cools his down. In that case, they're both in awe (which is a very good thing).

She knows what he's doing and it makes her smile. It also makes her feel a rush of emotion for him. "I'll let you surprise me. I don't have much experience with breakfast." Oh good; he's in agreement with her. While he's standing up from the bed, she reaches behind her to unsnap her bra and let it fall away. Her gaze devours him as she undoes his belt then his jeans. She goes to her knees, straightening so she can kiss him, so her hands can slide over his body, stopping at each scar to trace it. Her lips will blaze the same trail that her hands now move along.

He'll appreciate it when she starts to return the favor on check ins because he worries about her. She has herself a deal. It certainly won't go without reward when he sees her smile that cat ate canary smile. He would describe it as more fate than fit because of his romantic heart.

He's not seeing her withdraw like she might have if he asked her about breakfast early on in their relationship the first time so that's a positive. He's just trying to be optimistic for the both of them. He smiles softly to see that it works though. "I can do that. Maybe I already have something in mind." Eggs or Toast. Grapes like the Egyptians used to do. He is, though he jeans may be a little tight too. While he does not mind the initiative she takes it upon herself to remove her bra then free him of his pants, it isn't his intention to let her do all the work. He removes his own boxer briefs and socks and leans into her to pick her up and join her back in bed.

Her kisses stir him into a little frenzy and his heartbeat and breath quickens for each scar that red lipstick finds. He'll run his hands down her spine then bring them to massage her breasts to show he appreciates this.

My wings are frayed

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