peaceonearth | My wings are frayed

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verse: crowley held up his end of the de

My wings are frayed

She supposes they're giving her space. The last thing Ruby needs right now is space, but she does need a very hot shower and some clothes. Someone (Sam, she's guessing) provided the clean underwear and she's pretty sure that that same someone probably provided clean clothes as well. She's going through his closet (in that clean underwear and only her underwear) when he steps into the room. She barely looks over her shoulder, just grabs one of his button-downs (plaid) and puts it on before turning to face him, her fingers doing up the buttons.

"You guessed my bra size."

That's probably not the best opening line.

"Hi, Sam."

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What can he say? He would rather have her be out of harms way again. But at the same time, it wouldn't be hard for him to understand that normalcy doesn't suit her anymore than it does for him. It may be no time at all before he offers her the opportunity to work with them. He'd like having her around permanently and it's only a matter of time before he figures that out for himself.

True enough. But she wouldn't be rid of him as easily as that. It goes without saying that she is welcome to stay as long as she likes too. Sam is in no hurry to see her move on. This conversation is giving him whiplash on where all her logic is coming from, but she's not wrong per se. He softly shakes his head to that. "That's not always true. Some people want more of a connection." As in him. Should he be concerned where these ideas are coming from? He'd wine and dine her if he intended to ask, not sitting in bed with her on day one of their reunion. (She deserves more.)

He leans that much closer to her because she literally has him wrapped around her finger, his hands move to touch the sides of her face than settle on waist. He kicks himself a little bit. He can't fault her for thinking this isn't real when it's going fast. "You're right. We'll slow down-" He won't push her. Rowena gave him enough to know that Ruby might not believe that he is real.

Ruby is unlikely to be normal or fit into a 'normal' life ever. The monster in the closet can't be stuffed back inside. She doesn't realize it yet, but she would like to be around permanently as well.

Ruby's logic has always been a little skewed. She considers that and it occurs to her that Sam might be 'some people'. She ponders that while tracing shapes on his chest. "Is that why it never worked out?" The question is a little vague; she actually means why things didn't work out for him and all the other girls, but it could easily be construed as why she and Sam didn't work out. (he'll get a chance to show her).

Oops? She definitely likes it this way though. She shakes her head at his words. "No. I just meant that this is good."

There's no lack there of space for her to be a permanent fixture and Sam, too, will realize soon that normal won't be possible for her either. Then he will welcome her into their ranks.

Sam won't ever discount that her logic sometimes has it's points, just with this particular issue it's not reflective of himself. She's smart to pick up on that. His eyes turn to the shapes she traces on his skin but he offers her eye contact when he has an answer for her. "Yes. I think it's because I couldn't tell them about this part of my life or I couldn't have them part of mine or be part of theirs." It's not easy to admit that, but it's not news. It's not the first time he's thought it, just it's the first he's said it aloud. He's thought much less about why Ruby and him did not work out because she was taken from him. So he has no answer for her there.

There's a sense of doubt across his face when she makes it clear they're good. "You can tell me if it's too fast. There's no rush if you need to be sure this is real," he assures her.

"You had to lie about who you were," she nods slightly. Yeah, she understands that. It sucks. Her hands still against his chest. There was a lot going on at the time and yes, she was taken away from him. They weren't given a choice. Then. They'll just have to make the right ones now.

In response to that, she moves in closer, his mouth catching his. "Or you can just convince me it's real," she suggests, her hands going to the top button of his shirt.

His smile is half of one because she gets it. Not saying anything will always be the same as lying in his opinion. It has worn him down, sometimes before things even began. Ruby knows, though. Ruby gets it. There should have been a way to get her back sooner. There's a lot that has probably held him back on trying to figure out how to have something serious again. And there's something about this moment- them that unblocks that feeling somewhat.

He is terrible at this because the messages she's sending are mixed, and despite that, despite willing to go slow to convince her, he brings himself into the kiss so he won't lose her or it so soon. "Making sure you know this is real is all I want," he tells her, not stopping her from pulling the first button of his shirt open. He'll shrug it off by the last button and his hands slip underneath her shirt to help her with it.

She gets it. It runs in the same vein of not being able to ever be normal. Maybe there should have, but there wasn't and he'd gotten her out now before she'd lost her mind. He isn't catch up to Ruby, not in the sense that she ever thought about something serious with anyone but Sam, but in the sense that this is something that they might be able to have now. They've paid for it or earned it or maybe this is just the right time.

It's her that's terrible at this. She doesn't know how to send the right messages or even which message she wants to send. She leans into the kiss, pouring herself into it. Her fingers slip down the buttons and glide over his skin. She unbuckles the belt she's wearing to cinch the shirt (his shirt--her dress). her fingers go to the buttons on the shirt and start down them until she's sitting on his lap in her bra and underwear. "Don't disappear in the morning, okay?"

He's accepted it a long time ago. However, he could not have counted on Ruby coming back or the potential fit they could be together. They just might be able to now.

Then it's the two of them that are terrible this. As long as it's not too fast for her, as long as she isn't giving him a sign that screams no then there is to further reason to pause. He deepens the kiss with her leaned into it, sooner or later though pulls back to look at her, all of her, with deeper blue eyes. It's her lucky day because he's wearing the one shirt and his skin and all its wartime scraps on on display. She doesn't need his fingers in the way of removing the belt so he gives her the space, but he helps with the buttons from the button to top and sliding the fabric off her shoulders and off her arms. His hands rest back on her hips, urging her closer so there's no space between them. "Where would I want to be other than here?" he asks her. He can see she needs to hear an definitive answer so he adds one. "I won't."

As long as he's terrible at it too (but she doesn't think he is). There's not a single molecule in her body that's saying no. Even if this were all some trick, some reprieve from torment, she still wouldn't say no. She'd just understand that it was going to hurt more later and this is worth it. She may never let him wear a shirt again when it's just the two of them. His skin is hot against hers and the press of his body makes her breathless. She's a little dazed by all of him so it takes her a moment to process his words. Yes, she needed to hear a definitive answer.

"I'm holding you to that," she whispers against his lips then lets her hands drop the waist of his jeans, moving to the side and nudging him to stand up. "One of us is wearing too many clothes."

He is too (it's almost guaranteed). Thankfully it is not a trick, it'd be too cruel of a concern to even voice to her. She won't have to hurt later because he will still be there. Honestly, more than likely he will be checking in with her to see if she will be okay if he steps out for any reason or length of time. He will agree to being shirtless when they're together under one condition: it remains inside. Opposite to his, her skin is cool to the touch and the parts that touch his skin cool down some of what feels like steam coming off his. He can admit she has him in awe of her so she can take all the time she needs.

"Is there anything you would like to eat in the morning?" he asks, not changing the subject, but perhaps trying to cement that she can be sure he will stick around. Considering the position both of them are in, he's well aware there's too much clothing between them. Her attention on him is just making him feel hotter. Her nudge prompts him to move his hands from her waist and push himself up to stand at the edge of the bed. He won't interfere with her hands on his buckle but he will deliberately look at her.

Checking in is good. It's something she'll need early on and appreciate later when she's more confident and independent. She'll return the favor when she starts going out and about. She can agree to that condition. It certainly works in her favor. They fit together, the way her skin cools his down. In that case, they're both in awe (which is a very good thing).

She knows what he's doing and it makes her smile. It also makes her feel a rush of emotion for him. "I'll let you surprise me. I don't have much experience with breakfast." Oh good; he's in agreement with her. While he's standing up from the bed, she reaches behind her to unsnap her bra and let it fall away. Her gaze devours him as she undoes his belt then his jeans. She goes to her knees, straightening so she can kiss him, so her hands can slide over his body, stopping at each scar to trace it. Her lips will blaze the same trail that her hands now move along.

He'll appreciate it when she starts to return the favor on check ins because he worries about her. She has herself a deal. It certainly won't go without reward when he sees her smile that cat ate canary smile. He would describe it as more fate than fit because of his romantic heart.

He's not seeing her withdraw like she might have if he asked her about breakfast early on in their relationship the first time so that's a positive. He's just trying to be optimistic for the both of them. He smiles softly to see that it works though. "I can do that. Maybe I already have something in mind." Eggs or Toast. Grapes like the Egyptians used to do. He is, though he jeans may be a little tight too. While he does not mind the initiative she takes it upon herself to remove her bra then free him of his pants, it isn't his intention to let her do all the work. He removes his own boxer briefs and socks and leans into her to pick her up and join her back in bed.

Her kisses stir him into a little frenzy and his heartbeat and breath quickens for each scar that red lipstick finds. He'll run his hands down her spine then bring them to massage her breasts to show he appreciates this.

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My wings are frayed

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